Sexta-feira 11 Dez 2009, 3h:36
In both theory and practice, rock iconography has promoted a cult of "coolness": sunglasses, boots, leather, long or short hair depending on who is supposed to be offended, etc. Listening to rock is itself supposed to be a badge of coolness. It says, "We are hip. We are definitely not square. Nerds R not us."
(For the purposes of this discussion, I am using the definitions of "nerd" and "cool" as generally understood on school playgrounds. Those archetypes are defined by superficial characteristics such as appearance, demeanor, and level of interest in things like Star Trek. Of course I know that nerds can be, and in fact quite often are, very cool, and that cool people can be, well, extremely uncool. Especially to nerds. However, whether or not a rock star is really a nice person–inside, where it counts!–is outside the scope of this discussion.)
And yet, for a long time I noticed that almost every artistically successful or critically beloved rock band has at least one nerd as a member, usually part of the rhythm section: the Stones had Charlie Watts; the Beatles had Ringo; Spinal Tap had Derek Smalls, he of the lukewarm water mediating between the creative energies of fire and ice. But the band that literally embodies the nerd/cool balance, making it the focus of their entire image, is Cheap Trick.
http://images.uulyrics.com/cover/c/cheap-trick/album-the-essential-cheap-trick.jpg
Nerds to the left of me, cool guys to the right
Those signifiers unpack themselves, right?
It is also just fine to have a band entirely composed of nerds. Devo is probably the archetypal version of that, but they were trying so hard to live up to the archetype that they are more like nerd superheroes than real people. For a more down-to-earth example, I prefer The Feelies.
http://markgorman.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/the-feelies-crazy-rhythms.jpg
Boys with perpetual nervousness
However, it is not OK to have a band with no nerds at all. If my theory is correct, that is the primary reason why critics don't like hair metal bands.
http://www.heavyharmonies.com/bandpics/winger.jpg
Are you basking in our coolness yet?
So, nerd theory seems to accurately describe a lot of rock bands, right? Not so fast. It describes a lot of old rock bands, but it starts to fall apart when you look at more recent examples. What do we make of Kurt Cobain? Beck? Stephen Malkmus? Billy Corgan? Rivers Cuomo? All these guys are at least somewhat nerdy by the traditional definition, but they also seem kind of cool in a way that Ringo Starr is not. Moreover, these somewhat-nerdy guys are FRONTMEN, not drummers. The original nerdidity of rock has given way to a glorious nerdaciousness. How can this be explained?
Well, I'll tell you how. At some point in the early 90s, traditional coolness suffered a sudden devaluation, and nerdiness was ready to leap into that cultural void. Rock critics often mistake this shift for the triumph of grunge, or punk, but it had less to do with a specific musical style than with a change in the cultural zeitgeist. Rock music didn't suddenly embrace nerds because it grew up; it embraced nerds because the larger culture suddenly found them cool. And nerds accrued their cultural cachet because of Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs, and their armies of nerds working tirelessly on nerdy little gadgets that everybody thought were really cool. Hence, Belle and Sebastian.
The Top Fourteen Songs at 2:40
Extremely tough group to rank this time–lots of very high quality stuff did not make the list, and the top five or so seem like obvious #1s in most contexts.
1) These Boots Are Made For Walkin'–Nancy Sinatra
One of my most beloved songs period, at any length. When I feel a song like this, it’s hard to say anything intelligent about it, but I’ll try: Nancy’s version is the shit, of course, but Hazlewood’s songwriting is durable enough to support interpretation in a variety of genres without losing the song’s essential attitude. Ah, who am I kidding? This is what is important to know: That part at the end, when she says, “Are you ready, boots? Start walkin’”? And then the horns kick in? Man, I love that.
2) Johnny B. Goode–Chuck Berry
Chuck’s guitar is a clear and compelling articulation of rock n’ roll value system—perhaps all the justification it needs–and his most famous song is deservedly of monumental influence.
3) (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction–Devo
Always on short lists of “greatest covers,” and useful shorthand for describing the complete reimagining of a song from the foundation up. Over the years Devo’s nerdacious science-project deconstruction of the Stones has become familiar, but it is still absolutely amazing.
4) Friday on My Mind–The Easybeats
According to Australians, it's the best Australian song of all time. I'm inclined to trust their judgment on this one, but the list is obviously faulty, as it contains no Radio Birdman.
5) Ever Fallen in Love–Buzzcocks
One of the great “new wave” singles of the late 70s was little-heard in the U.S. This kind of tuneful guitar pop had fallen out of favor since the 60s, and hadn’t been played this fast and ferocious even then.
6) Shake Shake Shake–White Denim
Perhaps a variant of gutter jazz, but with almost everything but the riffing discarded, then sped way up and translated into a garage rock idiom with extra shouting. Extremely fun.
7) Annie Had a Baby–Hank Ballard & the Midnighters
I like this considerably more than “Work With Me Annie,” which is the more famous and controversial of this pair. The earlier song is more famous because “Work With Me” is about having sex, which is dirty, and “Annie Had a Baby” is about not having sex, which is not dirty, and thus presumably suitable for the tender ears of teenagers.
There was a tremendous amount of rather obscure R&B and garage rock that almost made this list: Levitation; If You Took a Survey; Garden of Four Trees; lots more. A mix of just those 2:40 songs would be extremely kick-ass.
8) Non Stop Girls–Radio Birdman
Perhaps this lightning-riff song is the one that the Aussie committee could have selected to include on their list. Or any one of another dozen of their best; I’m not picky. They’re all great.
9) Don't Set Me Free–Ray Charles
An exemplar of how deep Ray’s catalog is. Most casual fans don’t know this song, but it’s 96% as good as his more famous tracks. And yes, I did calculate that, thanks for asking.
10) Wild Thing–The Troggs
Like “Born to Be Wild,” this classic has been almost ruined by overexposure, and in particular, the use of it in films and TV to accompany footage of stuff like babies getting crazy, or to ironically comment on the uncharacteristic mildly assertive behavior of very timid people. To the point where I almost hate it. But all that crap isn’t the song’s fault.
11) The Living End–Bongwater
Heavy, chilling apocalyptica that merges the playfulness of Syd Barrett-era Pink Floyd with the moroseness of Roger Waters-era Pink Floyd.
12) Too Drunk to Fuck–Dead Kennedys
Punk expressed impolite truths that the rock establishment–known for its cool born-to-be-wildness–was ironically too conservative to notice. Here, the DKs bulldoze the fiction that rock musicians had a right—no, an obligation—to careen through their lives drunk.
13) A Question of Temperature–The Balloon Farm
Almost Dr. Demento-level weird, but underneath the trying-too-hard-to-be odd production is an actual good garage rock song.
14) Malcolm's X-Ray Picnic–Number One Cup
There were a lot of post-Pavement/post-Pixies bands around in the mid-90s that sounded pretty much like this (nice melody, weirdly distorted guitar, faux girl-group backing vocals), but not many came up with a song this good.
Sound off, nerd nation! You may do so by using your computer to connect to the Internet.