Jun 5 2007, 13h49
Schopenhauer's polemic on what makes a fag a fag:
If you get hard while sucking another guy's dick you're a fag. If you don't, you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.
If you kiss a guy and he has a hard on, you're not gay unless you have a hard on too.
If you get a boner watching Gilligan's Island.
If you don't get a boner watching Bewitched.
If you don't eat meat because the Smiths "Meat is Murder" album had an impact on your life.
If you fuck a pregnant woman and she's carrying a boy, you're gay. If you get sperm on the amnoitic sac, the baby will grow up to be gay too.
If you've ever had a haircut like Morrissey.
If you've ever had a haircut while a Morrissey or Smiths album were playing in the room.
If you've ever put band aids on your nipples as a fashion statement.
If you get a hard on whilst taking a shit.
If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in the Smiths besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.