Jul 21 2010, 13h08
) Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
) It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
) Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
) Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
) Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
) If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
) Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
) If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
) If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
) If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
) Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
) A closed mouth gathers no foot.
) There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
) Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
) Never miss a good chance to shut up.
) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.