Terça-feira 28 Set 2010, 14h:37

My problem with new endeavours is that I can never maintain the motivation and enthusiasm to see them through.

Not content with having just another blog to spout my inane thoughts, I thought I’d make the effort to buy my own domain. As a popular betting organisation says, “It matters more when there’s money on it” and by paying for my very own space on the internet, I thought it would encourage me to at least make regular contributions. So I went out and bought the domain xemper.net, imported some of my old journal entries and got writing about any musical happenings that took my fancy. But now, after nearly a month since my last post, it is becoming apparent that this "making regular contributions" thing is not happening.
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/605/nomotivation.jpg
So what’s my problem? Certainly taking the time out to just sit down and write something is a big factor. But its a bigger hurdle than you might think. Even if I have nothing better to do, it doesn’t change the fact that I’d rather be doing something else. I’m not much of a writer. Never have been. And with a tirade of good quality music journalism available at peoples fingertips I often feel that anything I do write is of no consequence. I’m not gaining anything by making these posts. I’m being marked and graded for a qualifications and I’m not being published and paid for employment. And readership at this place is hardly high. So what’s the point?

However, I’m starting to realise why I should bother. The fact of the matter is that however much I hate writing, I love “having written”. To sit back and read over the thoughts and feelings of my past self, I find quite satisfying. However badly written it is, if there are spelling and grammar mistakes and the structure is all wrong, it doesn’t matter because it is something I have created and it is mine. I’ve never kept a diary, but I’m starting to understand why people do.

There are even rare occasions where someone else has read my ramblings and given me feedback. Good or bad, it’s great to know that there is someone out there who has read what I have to say and has actually contemplated it. I really do appreciate all the comments I receive and anyone who who takes the time to read these things.

As for the regular contributions thing, with me starting a masters course in a weeks time, I’m unsure how my motivation levels will fare. Lets see how things go.

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On a musical note, I’m currently working through a few recommendations; some from friends, some from websites. This includes synths from Sam Prekop‘s Old Punch Card, down-tempo electronica from L.S.G.‘s Into Deep and 80s vibe indie-pop from M83‘s Saturdays = Youth. Its making for a good mix. :)

- Imported and adjusted from xemper.net