Quinta-feira 15 Fev 2007, 15h:44
This journal is being written live so anything could happen
Quite how they managed to dip the sound when it was broadcast live is anyone's guess. Prescient censorship? We were repeatedly told that, since it was live, anything could happen at The Brits - particularly with dangerous, out of control anarchists like Snow Patrol and Corinne Bailey Rae on the bill. But dangerous isn't very popular at the moment.
BUM! POO! Which pretty much sums up Russell Brand's performance. To give him his due, it's a tough gig (as Frank Skinner found out when he died a thousand deaths the other year) and he had a few good lines. Most notably, the suggestion that Take That will be falsely imprisoned as shoe bombers.
Highlight was watching Arctic Monkeys accepting their award while dressed as characters from the Wizard of Oz.
However, it was Joss Stone who was most in need of a brain. Her LA inflected speech was easily the most baffling moment of the night. I presume that the latter part is supposed to be a joke. Although it's not a form I'm familiar with. She looked at the audience like she was expecting a laugh, yet none of what preceded it in anyway suggested a comedic moment. That's not even mentioning the dress, the hair, the prison-yard walkabout (which I assume was supposed to be sexy, but came across more like the faltering steps of a newly born calf).
Almost as baffling was the fact that cape-wearing prog-rockers Muse won the Best Live Act award despite it being voted for by Radio 2 listeners. I have to admit, I don't listen to a great deal of Radio 2, but I didn't realise that Super Massive Black Hole gets airplay between Mantovani and the Swingle Singers.
When presenting the Monkeys' award, Sean Bean, desperately trying to Sheffield himself up, described the atmosphere as, "Like being at Bramall Lane when they win." Although he was only born in 1959, so he couldn't know that for sure (yeah, I know about soccerball).
The Brit Award Awards
Best Opportunity to Flick Over to Dragons' Den: Snow Patrol
Performance Most Likely to Tip Robbie Williams Off the Wagon: Corinne Bailey Rae. I doubt even 36 double espressos could have kept him awake for the duration of this performance. Such were the soporific effects of the performance that even the dancers were reduced to moving in slow motion.
Biggest Bubble Headed Moron: Nelly Furtado. Given stiff competition from Fearne Cotton with her constant flogging of premium rate phone calls and description of everything and everyone as 'brilliant'.
Most Drunken Acceptance Speech: Orson. A shock that it wasn't won by Amy Winehouse who was so sober when she collected her award that she had the presence of mind to thank her record company first.
Best Performance: Scissor Sisters' bandy-legged act. Like the band, diverting, entertaining and spiritually bankrupt.