Mai 24 2010, 16h41

    Willem Johannes Crankshaft III


    Hello from Scandinavia, I`m corious about music from South Africa so I wonder if you can recommend some popular group?

    jis ruin. how are yous? if you like souf african musics, you will lovs 'die antwoord'.
    dey stays quite close to my house, akshilly. grate okes. and also 'jack parow'. you can puts it in youtube too, dey are dere. and also dere are dis white oke who dancing wif de blacks all de time. i fink his name are jonny clegg. but he are a mullet. but not a cool mullet laik i has. also 'fokofpolisiekar' are cool becoz the leat singers he singings wif his peestergat. verrry cool. i fink its becoz his pants is so tait. very tait. but not cool tait like me. beste.

    Thank you very much for taking time to answer me, I think thats a good starter to check out your recommendation in Y-tube. thanks again

    PS i fink abba are from yous, no? grate musics, dat. sometimes when i put on my makeup to covver dis mudderfuk burn on my fourheads i put on 'dancing queen' and dancing queen around de house. but not when pa is here, he donners me. and maggie also donners me, the old poes.

    Yes you right, ABBA is from Sweden, they was ok, I`m alround in my music taste thats why I want to listen to (for me) new stuff

    i fink dat girl from abba are kwait hot. not de brown hair one, she are a cow. raindeer, really. i hear dat de girls from sweden are kwait hot. dat day sumtimes take out dere boops in de sun to let de sun make it brown. are dat true? dats amazing. maybe you can send some here to souf africa, i will send you some datsun valvoline, like a box full, and den you can send some of tem brownboop girls here. laik a bizniz. but wifout money. and all are girls here have white boops. and sometimes day have de VIGS. sies man, dat are not seksy at all.

    the blond girl in ABBA is Agneta Fältskog, and is more prettier as time goes by :-) Hi again, I checked out Die Antwoord - Enter The Ninja, little bit different of what I usually listen to, but it was ok, I will listen to more of your recommondations

    did you see dat little man in die enter the ninja video? dat are my couzin leon. he are also a little man like me, but he are much uglier dan me.

    The video was funny, i liked it. And girl was hot, your sister?

    no no no, de little man who were rapping. like me, like small, but much uglier than i are. dan one is my couzin leon. de girl is yolandi, she are living just down de road. she are pretty hot in real life... i one time try to show her my little man, put she just laugh. it hurt me den. here is my naiburhood, mitchells plein. it are pretty cool.

    so are you going to sent me dat anna girl, and i sent you de valvoline?

    So you suggest a swap, swede gal for you and ZA girl for me?

    no no no, ai jurre tog. i sends you de crate of valvoline and you sends me one of de brownboops girls you haf over dere. but if we are doings bizniz you is going to haves to sharpen defukups a little, china.

    look what i finds!!! its dat agnetha girl!!! jirre she is hot, i will send you a crate of de valvoline and a datsoon 1400 manual wif only a little bit of ghries on de cover if you can send me her. she looks poeslekker.

    that was a nice pic you found there, rofl

    i know, it are grate. i am printing out dat one to puts in my spankbank. so whats de story wif your pickture? is it like a raindeerlovings badge for de like sweedish boyskouts?

    Is a soccerteam in sweden.


    Angry Aryans:

    grates!!!! more people wif my colir who makes grates music. i fink de blacks must also go back to afrika and gives us back our land here in souf africa.


    hello! i are from souf africa, and we are havings problems here becos de blacks wants to kill all my peoples, like eugene terrablanche. he were a very good man. can you help me please wif sending guns please? i will give you address. i will give one box of de beste valvoline diff oil for every AK you are sending. fanks, my white brover.


    hello my white brofer!! i are from souf africa, where we are losing wif so many of de stoepid blecks everywhere. we need your helps. can you please sending me some canned peaches? i ask you other white brofer for guns, but we also are hungry. and maybe sum potatous. kartoffelen. they are grates wif chees.

    dont listens to dese people who say you are de homoseksual and racist man. i remember people always making fun of me too, say 'you stupids little man, tell us a joke, shows us your little man, juggle somefing hahaha' then they sometimes kicks me on my little man. bu then i discovering adolf and his struggles too. and now i knows dat i is white and we are de best nashun, and we dont needs them and ther black edukashun. also, i likes your tattoos, they is grate. i get i tattoo of eugene terrablance, he are from souf africa. we have many blecks. o yes, can you send me please sum grenades and also sum food? maybe some cans of that bully beef. and some peaches. we are hungrey here. thanks you, my white brother.

    Jan 8 2009, 11h34

    Willem Crankshaft III

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    i also loving to make de spliff and lissen to sum mellow prasie and wurship grooves!!! yes yes jah lovr you in de peesterhole too!!!

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    does somebody know what the word "peesterhole" means? i didn't find it even in my fat dictionary........

    sakmaz wrote:
    "peesterhole". it are meanink dat small spayce be-tuhween your anoes and ballsatchel!

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    i speak german and english, but no patois or other dialects, sorry...... thanks for trying to help.......

    i]eifel-yesus wrote:
    warning, not threatening ! i know Jesus, and even He spoke about the hell and invited the people to follow Him and His teachings, and He said That NOBODY can come to God without Him. Jesus is The Truth, I BELIEVE HIM. you can believe your esoteric prophets or make yourself your own spirituality like "lamp of the universe" or other false prophets, wulves in sheep-clothes. i follow Jesus ONLY !!! I'm not perfect, but praying for the people here and trying my best. your intellectual wisdom doesn't impress me, God and His word is much much wiser !!! one day you will understand that stupid german........:-)

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    but.... mister jesus was born 2000 years ago... and um... people have lived on dis planet for um... about 200 000 years... so al dose people are sufeering and dying for 198 000 years (which i fink are a very long time, especially wifout a good dental plan).. and where are god den? hmmm.... wait wait wait i fink i has a fought... yes, dat's right, i fought so... you, sir, are delusional. i fink more time wif a good datsun manual and less wif dat book of makenosenseness. de bad word. word.

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    and i see you shares "amazing grace" wif de sakmazman. it are a grate song. i can fluit it wif my peestergat.

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    okays, here is what i are goings to do. i will gets my datsun crankshaft, then i hits you over de head de hole time... BUT if mister jesus comes and tells me stop, i will. promise. DEAL?

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    sarcasm and cynicism is NOT the way to inner healing, psychic health and eternal heaven !!!

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    PS i know dat sometime you look at pichure of Manfred Siebalt,
    den you finks, i will love to put my peester there. and dat is very wrong fought. because you must fink dat you want to put your peester wif Kristine Alicia's moist poist. i has. it are smoof like syntetic valvoline blend motor oil. beste.

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    i onetime gives a girl in primary school some innerhealing in die playpark when i are 6 yeras old. let me tell you, it were heavan. not eternal, but almost 15 sekunds. grate fun.

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    @sakmaz: i never told that i'm a prophet. so you also are in the internet at that time, what is your job ??? (double-morality?) i have enough live-experience to do what i do and justify what i do. You are not my conscience. But THANK YOU for your open words without insults, really. (i have to leave now, starting a new job on monday, must prepare somethings)

    sakmaz wrote:
    i fink i know dat girl; she was being my sistahr! you fawking little boi! dis is de last strraw! i now put my wrensh in yoor peestergat and removal your lewer! jirrrrr

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    i finks you are starting a new job because everybody in your old job gets verrrry tired of your ridiculus preaching and realises you are bleddie crackpot. AND, for every song you share wif me, i will burn one church here in afrika. and not on a weekdays. DEAL? fanks.

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    PS yes, life experience are shittt excuse for when people has not enough breins to finish univurcity. i fink maybe your lecturhers also get tired of your boknai. try to finds dat one in your dickshuniry.

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    @littlepeoplearepeopletoo: do you want to proof something to me....... GOD LOVES YOU !! JESUS IS YOUR SAVIOUR !!! don't be bitter

    sakmaz wrote:
    where was god when an exhaust defecated on that tiny man's forehead?!

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    CAREFULS - dats 2 songs you send me, so dat means on sunday 2 churches will feels de wraff of de litte people. i are not denominashional, i burns one catholic and one protestings, okay? okay. but why you calls me bitter? i are sweet like dats girl in de playground. beste.

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    your self-chosen "god" is cynicism + sarcasm, it is your way to deal with your destiny and your flight from the inner pain. surely you experienced lot of rejection from people, even from so called christians. BUT JESUS WILL NEVER NEVER REJECT YOU. He is waiting for you, He created you, there is no reason for self-pity. i have a friend, she's in the wheel-chair, maybe as tall as you, but crippled. her life is not easy, but she's a LOVING CHRISTIAN WIFE AND SISTER !!! God Bless you, mallow man............

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    @sakmaz: shit happens, we are not in paradise, not yet..... where was Jesus, when my litlle sister died at the age of one and a half ? what a silly question !!! i don't ask like that anymore, because i know Jesus, and i will see my sister SOON together with Jesus and other believers and born-again christians. you doubt, young man, and telling me at the same time, that you know Jesus better than me...... i keep on praying....

    sakmaz wrote:
    shit happens? what kind of stupid argument is that?! hey, where was god when he made you that way? surely you're his idea of a joke? oh well, shit happens that you're a dillhole

    sakmaz wrote:
    HAHAAHA i knew it, you like boys!

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    @sakmaz: how to take you serious with these low-level entries ???

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    yes, i are ould enouff to vote and drunk and drive. and you have sending me 3 songs, so dat's one cafolics, one protestings... and one sinagog, because i are diskriminashun aganst anyboddy. i fink you wil llike dat, de burning of de jews, becos your country have practice wif dat. are you having some advices for me? how many one time? better gas or just moer dem wif a crankshaft?

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    @the bitter short mallow man: God LOVES you !!! i wrote you about my short, crippled friend, who is loving Jesus !!! don't waste your precious life running around with very deep self-pity, bitterness, hate, unforgiveness, cynicism, sarkasm, trying to mock people. it will change nothing. ONLY JESUS IS THE SOLUTION and God want to be the father, which you maybe never had. God Bless You, short man from south-africa !

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    i rawer run around wif my short legs an my self-pity dan dem fecking long legs you gots and your self-richusness. prik. dont talk wif me about mockings people, my hole life people are mocking me becos i are short, i has dis big mudderfuk burn on my heads, i has no pubics hairs, i show my big man to de girls in de streets... all dese fings. ONLY KLIPPIES 'N COKE IS DE SOLUSHUN. dat and bigger mags for de datsun. den all de girls will be loving me. NOW LEAVING ME ALONE, YOU PRIK. or i are going to asking mister jesus to turn you into a fish like he dids wif dose other 5 fousand juice. PS so now dats 1 caffolics, 1 protestings, 1 sinnagog and... maybe a anglikuns house.

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    I pray to Jesus to free you from your self-pity and ............teach you english, so that i can understand you better....:-) 4 serious questions: is it helping you to mock people ??? is it healing your inner wounds ??? is revenge The Solution for the rest of your life ??? is cynicism your philosophy ???

    TheMallowMan wrote:
    4 serious questions: is it helping you to mock people ??? is it healing your inner wounds ??? is revenge The Solution for the rest of your life ??? is cynicism your philosophy ??? i is trying to answer. sorry about my bads englesh, not everyboddy has moneys for rich univurcitys, prik. 1, i are not mocking, i am getting de mocks. mocks for de mudderfuk burn on my forheads, mocks for my kort peester, everifinks. 2, how do you knows about my inner wounds? is you talking wif dr coetzee, dat doos said he was keepings quiet. anyways, is better now, is still bleedings, but no puss. good treatments. 3, revenge is the ansur for my life, yes. i knows where you lives and works, prik. 4, i dont knows what cynamon has to do wifs, philosophy, but it taste good wif de pannekoek and de ice creem. and so you is pentecuntal?dats de ones we speakings wif tongues, i know. i fought my sister one days was pentecuntaling in de streets becos she was foaming arounds the mouf, but it was eppilipsy. grate.

    eifel-yesus wrote:
    "...... 1 caffolics, 1 protestings, 1 sinnagog and... maybe a anglikuns house...." LUCKILY I'M PENTECOST........:-);-)))

    sakmaz wrote:
  • What a Real Introduction Looks Like...

    Fev 4 2008, 11h31

    my friend sakspazz (sakmaz) posted this in the introductions of the Surf Vibes group, and it was just too good to let slip between the digital cracks. enjoy.


    My name is Sakmazmemainmazzoe or something along those lines. I like this place, other places, lying, kites, you, and throwing babies against walls.

    I don't surf, actually. So why would I belong to this group? You see...the ocean draws me, that salty, unhealthy, unfriendly, murky, cold mass of water (with dead people and fish in) seems really enjoyable.

    I like it when turds float around too. I like to chase floating turds - I just call 'em floaturds - across small waves..whilst they bounce on the..lip, like little happy brown surfers with corn and bumhair for hair. I swim particularly well when there's a bunch of boogie-kids right next to me, crunching it out with 'em plastic bags for boards. I like to pull down my pants at them and shout "candy's right here, kid".

    My favorite pastime in the ocean would be (semi-)drowning. I totally relish that feeling when an ol' 29 footer hits you on your chin, and you begin suffocating with terrific intensity. You start having trans-vivid dreams about what it would be like in an ocean hell, filled with seaweedjellyanimals ass-inating you.

    I never had a surfboard, but I wish I did. You see, it serves as a valuable weapon against little kid rats with those inflatable sea-tires, and old people with g-strings. I can surf on, in, and over their heads and hopefully cut their heads off in the process. Then I'd mount them on my surfboard - perfectly, to such an extent that people would think it's a shrine and start to follow my surf prophecies.

    I really enjoy surf-music too. Slide guitar, slide drums, backslide bass, and slime vocals: these are the inspiring elements of surf-music-ism. If you combine them, add a little pepper, some parsley, a whole lot of beaver, boobs, whiskey, and floaturds, you would rock it like 1993.

    So please join me as I embrace the surf water like it was my own liquid child. I love and will love and sometimes hate the ocean, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not a surfer. Let's surf it out, or imagine that we can, unto heaven's lips itself.

    Surf's up, motherfuckers.