Blog

I put them here only for the connection to their pages :P

Britney Spears - Oops!... I Did It Again
Laura Pausini - Resta in ascolto (the only one I bought without checking)
מטרופולין - מטרופולין
Avril Lavigne - Let Go
Evanescence - Fallen
Björk - Homogenic
Queen - Queen II
Nightwish - Once
Evanescence - The Open Door
Epica - Consign to Oblivion
Nightwish - Oceanborn
Epica - The Phantom Agony
Within Temptation - The Silent Force
Radiohead - Amnesiac
Epica - The Divine Conspiracy
Radiohead - Hail to the Thief
Within Temptation - The Heart of Everything
ערן צור - חותך בחתך הזהב
Within Temptation - Mother Earth + Enter
Radiohead - The Bends
Nightwish - Century Child
Tristania - Beyond the Veil
My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade + Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
Tori Amos - From the Choirgirl Hotel
After Forever - Invisible Circles
Sonata Arctica - Reckoning Night
Muse - Origin of Symmetry
After Forever - Prison of Desire + Decipher
מתי כספי 2
Mika - Life in Cartoon Motion
Björk - Vespertine
uneXpect - In a Flesh Aquarium
Atrox - Contentum
Manu Chao - Proxima Estacion: Esperanza
65daysofstatic - One Time for All Time
Lacuna Coil - Unleashed Memories
Lacuna Coil - In a Reverie
To-Mera - Delusions
Sonata Arctica - Unia
Secret Chiefs 3 - Book M
Skunk Anansie - Post Orgasmic Chill
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz!
Rasputina - Oh Perilous World
The Gathering - Mandylion + Nighttime Birds + How to Measure a Planet? + If_then_else
(David Dunn - The Sound of Light in Trees)
The Gathering - Souvenirs
Red Hot Chili Peppers - One Hot Minute
Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
random gift - Portishead - Dummy
The Gathering - Home
Porcupine Tree - Fear of a Blank Planet
Interpol - Our Love to Admire

I see this is the most relevant thing to tell- I "only" have fun of music. It never touches me deeply, never makes me think, never changes my mood. I feel about it almost like I feel about food- it can be a lot of fun, but no deep strong emotions.
I don't feel the connection of music to the real world, though I know that many times songs come from real thoughts/feeling. This is "only" beautiful sounds for me.
-and real thoughts and feelings- I can feel them from someone else only when they just say it simply. without mysterious sentences, without rhymes, without "artificial" melody. straight to the point.
Recently I became aware that many other people really cry of music, identify, "go to another world"... and it made me jealous that I can't feel any of these, it seems so great...
People also made me think that I don't feel about music in the "right" way, because the music is supposed to raise the emotions the writer/singer/player felt. Still I can't force myself to feel it, and my feeling "feel right" for me, when I just forget about the other people "out there". -- edit: I forgot to mention that usually I don't even pay attention to the lyrics
Music is one of my biggest pleasures. I can dance of happiness because a song is so beautiful. Yet I don't feel extremely strong emotions, but so what? I enjoy music a lot, just not that way.
In general, nothing makes me "go to another world". but it's still not that bad, I can live happily without it. ....and most important- without the jealousy.

Useful = not that good, but very cool to listen
(the true meaning? what the writers meant? I understand but don't FEEL it)


10. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Shame and Fortune (funny+cool)



9. Within Temptation - Murder (funny)



8. Lacuna Coil - Closer (cool)



7. Epica - Replica (funny)



6. Nightwish - The Kinslayer (cool)



5. Muse - Supermassive Black Hole (funny)



4. Within Temptation - Sinéad (funny)



3. Within Temptation - Faster (funny)



2. The Gathering - Great Ocean Road (cute+cool)



1. Rasputina - Possum of the Grotto (funny+cool)

(I did have fun in Epica's concert as I wrote, but not a lot...)

Lately I've had some "frustration attacks" from time to time.

Quotations from my mind:
"Why can't I enjoy concerts, like "everyone" else does?
Why do the people in the crowd have to sings? Don't they want to hear the musicians?
What is so "live" about it? The musicians still stand quite far from you, and they don't notice many individuals.
I usually barely hear (and see) the performers, and "strangely" this reduces my joy..."

I though that the problem can be that I try to find the sense, and maybe there's no one...
Maybe it's a constant feature- or you enjoy shows, or you don't. Maybe it doesn't change by the time, and you can't "practice" it. Like trying to "learn to like" a kind of food you don't like.
The fact that most of music lovers enjoy concerts, doesn't mean that people who don't enjoy them are handicapped. They are just unusual, and have one less thing to enjoy in life.
The real problem is that I can't accept it, I feel like it's fatal. I have to really understand that it doesn't matter that much, and to let it go.
I had a similar thing about sex. For now, I don't feel any desire/need to do it. Maybe I'll never want it. For a while I was upset about this, but shortly it was totally over. I don't care much if I'm going to ever like it.
I wonder why, when it comes to shows, I care that much. Maybe because I do enjoy music, and the shows are "supposed" to be an "upgraded" experience. And, as opposed to sex, I'm quite "attracted" to shows. It's just not as good in reality as it is in my imagination...

The thing which I can practice, is saying:

It's NOT important if I enjoy concerts or not!

finally, my group (meanwhile it has only me)- People who don't enjoy concerts much

I saw a list like this and wanted to do my own. I did something similar here before, but still...
For my top 25 artists (most played in last.fm) - 1) the first song I've heard, 2) the one who made me fall in love, and 3) my favourite.

Nightwish
1 - Wish I Had an Angel (I didn't like it)
2 - Sleeping Sun (not sure)
3 - Sleeping Sun

Evanescence
1 - the singles from Fallen (together) (I didn't like them)
2 - (maybe) Everybody's Fool
3 - Lithium

Epica
1 - really don't remember
2 - Blank Infinity
3 - Blank Infinity + Façade of Reality

Within Temptation
1 - don't remember
2 - The Swan Song / See Who I Am / another one...
3 - The Promise / The Dance

Queen
1 - they were all around :P let's say Love of My Life / We Are the Champions
2 - my memory is quite gone
3 - The Show Must Go On

Laura Pausisi
1 - several songs from "best of" collection
2 - Un'Emergenza d'Amore
3 - Come Se Non Fosse Stato Mai Amore / Benedetta Passione

After Forever
1 - memory is gone
2 - Leaden Legacy
3 - I can't decide between Dreamflight / Monolith of Doubt / My Pledge of Allegiance #1, Beautiful Emptiness, Life's Vortex

Tori Amos
1 - probably Crucify
2 - Digital Ghost
3 - Digital Ghost / China / one from Under the Pink

Björk
1 - It's Oh So Quiet (I didn't like it)
2 - Bachelorette (?)
3 - Bachelorette (?) :P

Lacuna Coil
1 - memory is gone
2 - Enjoy the Silence (?)
3 - Distant Sun, In Visible Light

Avril Lavigne
1 - Complicated (?)
2 - I'm With You
3 - I'm With You / Unwanted / Don't Tell Me

Tristania
1 - memory is gone
2 - Angina (?)
3 - Angina / A Sequel of Decay

My Chemical Romance
1 - The Ghost of You (didn't like it)
2 - generally The Black Parade
3 - Famous Last Words / The Ghost of You

Britney Spears
1 - all the song from her two first albums, together :P
2 - ...Baby One More Time
3 - What U see (Is What U Get) / I Can't Make You Love Me

The Beatles
1 - they were and still are all around :P can't recall one song
2 - never had a chance to fall in love
3 - While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Eleanor Rigby

Manu Chao
1 - Me Gustas Tu (I liked it)
2 - same ^
3 - don't know

Metropolin
1 - היא לא אומרת כלום = She Doesn't Say Anything (I didn't like it)
2 - all the first album, Metropolin
3 - "Yapan" (Japan)

Sonata Arctica
1 - memory is gone
2 - Still Loving You
3 - Don't Say a Word / For the Sake of Revenge

Therion
1 - memory is gone
2 - To Mega Therion (?)
3 - The Perennial Sophia / something from Vovin (final result TBA)

Radiohead
1 - must be Creep or Karma Police
2 - Amnesiac as a Whole
3 - Dollars & Cents, Lucky

Mika
1 - Grace Kelly
2 - Grace Kelly
3 - My Interpretation / Any Other World

Kelly Clarkson
1 - Since You Been Gone (I didn't like it)
2 - Breakaway
3 - Judas

The Gathering
1 - Strange Machines - Nighttime Birds (edit) (I didn't like it)
2 - Strange Machines
3 - Strange Machines + On Most Surfaces - Home

Red Hot Chili Peppers
1 - maybe Californication
2 - [memory is gone]
3 - One Hot Minute (?)

Muse
1 - Hysteria / Bliss
2 - ?
3 - Showbiz

--

There are some artists below the top 25 that I like more than some of the above, but rules are rules :P

Many of the artists I like- I heard a few of their stuff, then neglected them for several years, and then started to explore and loved what I found.
But now I'll write about artists/albums I listened to seriously, and didn't like. And After several years I checked them again and loved.


~ Therion
I checked them in 2007, along with After Forever. I listened to Vovin, Gothic Kabbalah, Sirius B+Lemuria and Crowning of Atlantis (I was very enthusiastic in the beginning...) . After many listens, I decided it's not for me. meanwhile.
I checked them again in 2008, with Secret Of The Runes. After some listens I was bored.
I checked some stuff of them from time to time on YouTube.
In one time in 2011, I really got into it. I took Vovin, and liked it very much. Then I took Gothic Kabbalah and liked. I decided to Check all the rest of their albums.


~ The Gathering - How to Measure a Planet? + If_then_else
After I checked "Mandylion" (maybe in 2009) and loved it, I came to "measure a planet". I was bored of most of it. Then I took "If then else", and again was bored of it.
Somewhere in 2010/beginning of 2011 I took Nighttime Birds and liked.
In May 2011 I watched some videos of the band from 1996, and fell in love with Anneke :P It brought me to pay attention to the band. After several days the enthusiasm descended, and I turned to check the albums I neglected.
I took samples on YouTube and thought "measure a planet" and "if_then_else" are 'still' boring, and actually The Gathering stopped to be good after Nighttime Birds.
But - after a tiny romance with Saturnine I took "If_then_else" and quite liked it. After looking in YouTube again, I got an impression that "measure a planet" is good too, and I took it. Currently I'm in love :P
Amazing how I can change my mind...


~ Porcupine Tree - Fear of a Blank Planet
I checked it some years ago (2007/8), along with "In Absentia". At the end I was bored.
In May 2011 I took "blank planet" again, and I like all the songs :)
(I'm still not very impressed by In Absentia)


Kamelot has come back too, but I don't love them "officially" :P
It's just nice to listen to.

Dream Theater has come back, but the comeback is still not successful enough.

I enjoyed! Not very very much, but more than zero and this is great XD

I think it's maybe beacuse now I'm a little bit less shy, so I could be more opened to the show and to 'connect' to it.

And to think that I decided to go to it only 5 days before it, and then it was just because I didn't have a choise 'cause I went to the army...

Mark <3

Yesterday I was in the show of Nightwish which I told about in the end of my previous post about the previous show I was in.
And again, it was exactly the same scenario as in the previous time- the show was very good, but I almost didn't enjoy it. Again, I thought it would be great for me, but it was great for everyone except for me. Again, I visited the band's forum and the most common word people wrote about the show was "amazing". Again, during the show I felt OK, but when I got home I realized that it is the same 'tragedy' again.
When I think about and imagine a show, any show of someone I like which I hear that will be, I think it must be a lot of fun for me, and when it starts, it's all over. It's like for me, the show is great until it happens... and it's not that I see that it's not as good as I thought, becuse I imagine it as it is... The same thing is so great when I imgine it, and so little when it's real... And it doesn't have such large difference in other things I imagine to myself, only with this it's totlly different.
The additional problem is, that I just can't find a reason for this... The only thibg I can think about is the things that could make me enjoy the show. I can always say that maybe it's because "they're just playing and singing, it's not a big deal...", but when I think about this, it's special for me to see them and to hear them live...
After all of this, I just can think "What's wrong? Why don't I enjoy something I actually (or allegedly...) like very much and am so enthusiastic about; or the opposite: Why am I so enthusiastic about a thing I actually don't like, even after all the times I felt like it was nothing when I had it? And I still can't find a reason...