Afuera

Everything is more complicated
than you think.

You only see a tenth of what is true.

There are a million little strings
attached to every choice you make.

You can destroy your life
every time you choose.

But maybe you won't know
for 20 years...

...and you may never, ever trace it
to its source.

And you only get one chance
to play it out.
Just try and figure out
your own divorce.

And they say there is no fate,
but there is, it's what you create.

And even though the world goes on
for eons and eons...

...you are only here for a fraction
of a fraction of a second.

Most of your time is spent being dead
or not yet born.

But while alive, you wait in vain...
...wasting years for a phone call
or a letter or a look...
...from someone or something
to make it all right.

And it never comes, or it seems to,
but it doesn't really.

So you spend your time
in vague regret...
...or vaguer hope
that something good will come along.

Something
to make you feel connected.

Something
to make you feel whole.

Something
to make you feel loved.

And the truth is...
...I feel so angry.
And the truth is...
...I feel so fucking sad.
And the truth is, I've felt
so fucking hurt for so fucking long.

And for just as long,
I've been pretending I'm okay...
...just to get along, just for...
I don't know why.
Maybe because no one wants to hear
about my misery...
...because they have their own.

Well, fuck everybody.