• My epic sense of humour is a failure

    Set 7 2008, 22h38

    Being funny might seem quite funny at the time, but for every funny there is a funnyee and often your funniness does not coincide with their funny-receptivity in a mutual chortlefest of side-splitting guffaws.

    Perhaps one time in every thousand they may just actually be quite pissed off that you have vandalised their oasis of seriousness in an otherwise limitless ocean of wizard japes, super wheezes and impossible rosy-cheeked prangs. On those occasions we must see the virtue of hanging one's head in an aspect of sincere contrition and promising never again to upload a figureskater on their artist profile and subsequently vote for it four times. These things are wrong and not funny in equal measures.

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  • DEDALUS RADIO

    Jun 28 2008, 20h47

    It was largely a bunch of old noise

    10/10
  • GRAPEPUPPET RADIO

    Jun 9 2008, 17h15

    Second in the already near-legendary series

    1. De La Soul - TocarKicked Out the House

    De La Soul announce their distaste for house but inexplicably proceed to do a house-track poorly. This is the only album by them I have never heard, but can't say I'm inspired to seek it out.

    2. Chicks on Speed - Tocar99 Cents

    Had this album and liked about half of it, much preferred their version of Wordy Rappinghood and that one that bangs on about Cindy Sherman.

    3. Big Black - TocarSteelworker

    Don't much care for Big Black but this is quite a good track. I am much pleasured. Could it be the fact that I am a member of the Steel City Massive?

    4. REM - Orange Crush

    OK, I admit it...

    5. Del Shannon - TocarRunaway

    This is some next-level shit

    6. Jurassic 5 - Quality Control

    Stop it with the guilty pleasures, damn...

    7. The Beach Boys - Here Today

    No, The Beach Boys get right on my tits and this shit has not altered my opinion of them one bit. At least it is thankfully an instrumental.

    8. Talking Heads - TocarBorn Under Punches (The Heat Goes On)

    Yes1000

    9. Throbbing Gristle - TocarSix Six Sixties

    Genesis P. Orridge could record the sound of himself shitting from the top of a stepladder onto a kettledrum and I would still probably be able to appreciate it.

    10. Snakefinger - TocarDon't Lie

    Never heard these freaks before, like 'em. I shall investigate them in more detail (and that is what other people's radio stations should be all about).

    **This station should by rights be a 7/10 if I am applying my fledgling rule of counting the number of tracks I liked, but I've deducted a mark because the freaky low-fi shit jars a little next to the REM and Del Shannon, so 6/10 I suppose...**
  • CLOSEDMOUTH RADIO

    Jun 7 2008, 22h28

    A series of journals in which I critique the radio stations of various last.fm personalities. However, to introduce the series I am going to examine the musical tastes of a complete fucking non-entity

    1. TocarForcasa 1 - Bola

    Autechre-lite. Got reasonably interesting approximately 3 minutes in but if I never hear it again I could probably tell St Peter I'd had a fairly satisfying life.

    2. Serenitti (Hemmann And Kaden Remix) - Trentemoller

    This is more like it, shot in the arm after the Bola-coma. Pity it didn't run for a couple more minutes, reminded me of Akufen

    3. Tocar1969 - Cornelius

    Christ I hate this kind of thing, which is a shame because I loved Point. This style is what made 1996 so decidedly meh.

    4. TocarBrush Your Teeth - Buffalo Daughter

    Japanese Add N to (X). Ultimately annoying

    5. Mouth's Cradle - Bjork

    Despised this album, and indeed a lot of this woman's output, but strangely I still like her. This track is one of the least annoying on the album though (or 'good' without the British understatement) and sounds similar to the stuff on Vespertine, which is no bad thing.

    6. TocarThe Space of Two Weeks - Four Tet

    Yes, love this. He really should get back to knocking out this kind of stuff, or better still he could record another Rounds.

    7. Pen - Herbert

    He does found-sound stuff a lot better than Matmos but he wastes a lot of time doing bland crap like Scale

    8. Heartbeats - The Knife

    Another band I hate but this track is really good. I had no idea the Jose Gonzalez version wasn't an original song... good choice though. He does a reasonable version of TocarTeardrop by Massive Attack as well, the cheeky Scandinavian magpie

    9. TocarProfond - Brigitte Fontaine

    This is French, but not unpleasant despite that. I have a sudden urge to eat a croissant

    10. The Mother Could Be You - Hella

    I'm never sure how these guys manage to keep time with each other. Entertaining and draining

    *closedmouth gets 7/10 after an unpromising start, but requires considerably more cowbell*
  • RANDOM MEME-GENERATION PROTOCOL

    Abr 29 2008, 21h52

    meme are grate succinctly put

    more words than five is

    liek will maek you popular

    KVLT = WON/phail?

    the internets are are frends
  • M-I-S-C-E-G-E-N-A-T-I-O-N

    Abr 22 2008, 23h14