Blog

1. What's your favorite song by 14? Red Hot Chilli Pipers
Flower of Scotland.

2. How did you get into 20? Voivod
Introduced to their awesomeness by none other than Calla.

3. Who is your favorite member in 8? Black Sabbath
They're all amazing. Not Bill Ward, his shorts scarred me for life... Tony Iommi then.

4. Whats your favorite lyric bit by 29? KLF
DOCTOR WHO... HEY! DOCTOR WHO. DOCTOR WHO... HEY! DOCTOR WHOOOOoooo. DOCTOR WHO.

5. Have you ever seen 22 live? Iron Maiden
Alas and Alack, nay.

6. What's your favorite album from 10? Wishbone Ash
Argus or Wishbone Ash.

7. Do you own any merchandise from 3? Pink Floyd
Aye, a t-shirt from The Wall. WITH NAZI HAMMERS OF DEATH.

8. What is a good memory you have of 7? Anthrax
Nearly getting run over whilst listening to Among the Living.

9. Is there a member of the same age as you in 2? Rammstein
Ah well, No.

10. When did you first get into 1? Metallica
When Dad played Master of Puppets and Enter Sandman in the car... Immediately hooked.

11. Who likes 4 along with you? Mörkbürgër
Only really REALLY REEAALLLLYY awesome people. Like Calla and Twadli and that's probably it.

12. Which song did you first hear from 15? The Regimental Band, Pipes And Drums Of The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards
Flower of Scotland. It's the only song I've heard by them, but it's awesome, hence it making the band appear at #15 -_-

13. What song made you fall in love with 5? Genesis
No Son of Mine, actually... Then got more into the proggy stuff.

14. Which song do you not like by 18? In Extremo
Como Poden is a bit... nreghmehn.

15. Why do you like 14's songs? Red Hot Chilli Pipers
Because THEY HAS BAGPIPEZ. Which are awesome.

16. Where did you first hear 6? Megadeth
On 'The Best Heavy Metal Album in the World... Ever'. It had Holy Wars on it, but apart from that was the worst heavy metal album in the world... ever.

17. How long was 19 a singer before you liked them? Deep Purple
Deep Purple are a band, fucker. And long before I was born.

18. Does 13 have a song that gives you a bad memory? Jethro Tull
Err... Well... Err.. No.

19. When did you get into 17? Yes
When I decided my prog collection was too small so I raided my dad's collection and discovered their awesomeness.

20. How long have you been into 11? Аркона
When I went on the hunt for foreign music of excellence and turned up this folk metal band of amazingness.

21. If 9 had a concert 300 miles away, would you drive there to see them? Exodus
If I could drive... But given the opportunity, hell yes.

22. How many CDs do you own of 12? Hawkwind
Personally, none =O

23. Does 21 have a song that makes you cry? The Sword
ARGH, THE POOR IRON SWAN, FLOATING AMIDST THE REEDS! i.e. no.

24. Does 27 have a song that makes you happy?Tom Lehrer
Both poisoning pigeons and chemistry make me happy, so ja.

25. Does 23 have a song that makes you smile?Basshunter
No. I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM. WHY IS HE THERE?! HIM AND HIS RANDOM SWEDISH SONG.

26. What's the last song you've listened to from 28? Korpiklaani
Never give up this simple style, Let's Drink and enjoy!

27. Is there a song by 32 that you've listened to more than 30 times? The Caledonians
Auld Lang Syne, I've listened to 126 times =D

28. What is a song from 50 that you've only listened to once? Jon & Vangelis
There isnae one.

29. Is there a song you are sick of hearing by 24?Rage
No, RAGE ARE TOO AWESOME FOR THAT.

30. What song got you into 40? ZZ Top
Gimme All Your Lovin', actually...

31. What is your favorite single by 25? Caravan
Ooooh, err, Waterloo Lily, probably.

32. If 49 hated you, what would you do? United Future Organisation
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

33. What would you say if 42 or one of the members from 42 asked you out? Howell, Peter & BBC Radiophonic Workshop
RUN VERY, VERY FAST.

34. Would you care if 41 had a boyfriend/girlfriend? Dep Leppard
One girl for a whole band... That's worrying.

35. Who has the best voice in 46? Quintessence
The vocallist, OBVIOUSLY.

36. Do you think 26 is/are good looking? Emerson, Lake and Palmer
They make me tingle... but not in that way.

37. How many times have you listened to your favorite song by 36? Annihilator
EIGHT FIVE.

38. How many CDs do you own of 30? Chimaira
NONE, ARGH!

39. Is there a song from 38 that makes you mad? Focus
*yodels before whistling and spouting incomprehensible rubbish*

40. Which member from 31 do you want to see go solo? If 31 is only one artist, what would you do if they joined a group? Sacred Reich
Solo generally = end of goodness.

41. What does your favorite song from 48 remind you of? Pipes and Drums of the London Scottish Regiment
The mist rising over a Scottish Loch OF DOOM.

42. Did you hate 43 at first? Scorpions
Yes, actually! NO WAIT... That's a lie.

43. Does your best friend also listen to 33? Destruction
I do not consider myself to have a best friend, but one friend does, to a degree.

44. Do you think your parents would like 37? Demiricous
XDDDD Not a chance.

45. Does 47 have a song that makes you want to dance? Double Faced Eels
I can imagine myself dancing to Krokodils... because I have a twisted mind.

46. Have you ever seen 34 in person? Sigur Rós
Negative.

47. Do you like 44's name? Kreator
It's excellent.

48. Is there someone in 45 that you want to go out with? Mörk Gryning
XDDDDDDD

49. Do you know anyone that hates 39? 101 Strings Orchestra
I confess not.

50. Have you ever danced to a song from 35? Van Halen
Surely not...

For all top 15 artist, which track:
a) did I hear first
b) made me love the artist
c) is my favourite track of that artist right now

1) Tom Lehrer
a) Wernher Von Braun
b) Send the Marines
c) The Subway Song

2) The Beatles
a) Yesterday
b) Strawberry Fields Forever
c) Lady Madonna

3) Bob Dylan
a) Blowin' in the Wind
b) Blowin' in the Wind
c) Love Minus Zero/No Limit

4) De Mannen van de Radio
a) 3000-Delig Zakmes
b) 3000-Delig Zakmes
c) Oorlog

5) Eels
a) Novocaine For The Soul
b) Last Stop: This Town
c) Dog's Life

6) Dire Straits
a) Telegraph Road
b) Telegraph Road
c) Tunnel of Love

7) Tom Waits
a) Ol' 55
b) Pony
c) The Fall of Troy

8) Leonard Cohen
a) Suzanne
b) Hallelujah
c) The Stranger Song

9) Dan Bern
a) Chelsea Hotel
b) Jerusalem
c)Albuquerque Lullaby

10) Donovan
a) Universal Soldier
b) Mellow Yellow
c) you know what? I don't really like him right now

11) Hans Teeuwen
a) Bijbelverhaal
b) Nostradamus
c) Herman Brood

12) Johnny Cash
a) San Quentin
b) Man In Black
c) San Quentin

13) Creedence Clearwater Revival
a) Proud Mary
b) Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog
c) Who'll Stop The Rain

14) James Taylor
a) Fire And Rain
b) Fire And Rain
c) Carolina in My Mind

15) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
a) Eine kleine Nachtmusik
b) Dies Irae
b) Symphony No. 38

Surprisingly, with most I came up with three tracks without any trouble.

Yes, I thought I'd have a go at this as well. Why do all the artists I listen to most actually suck? Why is none of them more than a guilty pleasure or a snobby badge of intellectualism?

20) Simon & Garfunkel

Ah, yes. The folk "duo" that got immortalized by making just one good album. "Duo" because it's really just Paul Simon who decided to give his background singer an equal role. Well, officially. In a duet with Joan Baez he actually says "way better than Artie". But that's not because Baez is good, just that Garfunkel is unbelievably bland. And that's basically what Simon & Garfunkel boils down to. Sound of Silence? Heck, compared to that song silence is a rollercoaster ride. John Cage writes more catchy tunes. Bridge Over Troubled water is vaguely obscene, but that's about it. Singing a song slower doesn't make it better, it just makes you zone out.



19) Moxy Früvous

Seriously? Moxy Früvous. They think that just because they're Canadian anything they do is funny. Oh haha we make a song about a video store. Hilarious! Let's make it the Album title! And singing about superheroes is not tongue in cheek, it just shows you don't have any ideas of your own. And I really don't care how you came to live in Canada after being royalty in Spain. But I imagine the Spaniards got bored of your so called off-beat goofyness.



18) Randy Newman

Randy Newman has written two songs: the sensitive ballad with the "the world sucks" lyrics, and the humpty dumpty swinging song with the "I am a jackass" lyrics. Well guess what Randy: I'm not sure if the world sucks, but you sure are a jackass.



17) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

First of all: what's with the "and the Bad Seeds"? Who do those guys think they are? The Mothers of Invention? The Wailers? I've been to a Nick Cave show actually, and I don't recall a moment where I noticed those Bad Seeds doing anything special.

Nick Cave has a deep voice, which makes you think his lyrics are deep. Well, I'll give him that they are unusual, but unusual doesn't make deep. If you accept that the topic will be the paranoid doubt of love, life and sanity, the lyrics are as vapidly direct as Britney Spears lyrics. "People just ain't no good" isn't deep, it's just pathetic. "Where the wild roses grow" isn't deep, just creepy. You get the idea.



16) Jacques Brel

Ah, here we come to the first real snobby badge. Well, first of all, Brels renditions are way over the top. He just tries too hard. And all the violins mask any authenticity, if it ever was there. Because are you really telling me this Belgian guy who actually preferred to act wrote all those classically covered songs? Come on, he obviously had a ghostwriter. Who should have given the songs to Dutch and German artists right away.



15) Creedence Clearwater Revival

It's a sad state of affairs when a list with multiple comic artists features a non-comic artist with the most ridiculous name. I'm sure there's some sort of hilarious story behind it, but I don't care. It sounds like a wedding band.

Creedence can play, make no mistake about that. But they seem to carry too much baggage of the sixties without really making full use of it. Somewhat psychedelic lyrics, but not really. Somewhat politically involved, but not really. And the most mysterious songs are about "rain". Well guess what, Bob Dylan already made a meaninglessly mysterious song about rain.



14) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Composer has a son, who isn't just an able musician, but also writes symphonies as a toddler. Seriously? Did anybody buy this hoax? "Amadeus" didn't paint too negative a picture of Mozart, but much too positive. I don't believe he ever wrote as much as a piano sonata, he was just a "boy composer" of the eighteenth century.



13) James Taylor

OK, this is genuinely embarrassing. No, there's no area between folk and country where one can pass as a "singer-songwriter". The only difference between folk and country is that the latter is too slick and vapid. And Taylor is not folk, not by a long shot.



12) Johnny Cash

Well, if folk is good then Cash must be good right? Wrong. Cash is the original gangster rapper. 2Pac and Ice-T got the public outcry Cash deserved. Did he stick up for them? I don't think so.



11) Leonard Cohen

See Nick Cave.

What's that? Cohen's lyrics are better? No, they're just more complicated. "Nobody has told us yet what boogie street is for", what does that mean? Well, as Homer Simpson said "It doesn't mean anything! It's like 'ramalamadingdong' or 'give peace a chance'!"



10) Hans Teeuwen

Doing weird voices does not equal humor. Pretending to be a complete moron is humor, but really grade school humor at best.



9) Eels

"Oh my life has been so hard, because my father was a brilliant scientist." Well, guess what: your father's theory is "controversial", in other words complete bogus. And how could you think that "Eels" is sorted after "E"? Obviously weirdly working minds are hereditary. And we get it, you have a glockenspiel. Ha. Ha. Ha.



8) Dan Bern

Ok, singing about superheroes, as lame as it is, goes way beyond singing about celebrities. "I wish I was Tiger Woods"? Yeah Dan, I also wish you were Tiger Woods. Because then you would be an awesome golf player instead of a lousy singer.



7) Tom Waits

Someone else commented that Tom Waits's voice is too horrible to listen to, that we just get used to it. It's actually much worse than that: his voice masks the fact that his compositions are cornier than Green Day's.



6) Donovan

Well, at least I mostly listen to the psychedelic Donovan, not the earlier folksy one. Just too bad that nobody ever actually called Donovan "Mellow Yellow". Seriously, not once.



5) Bob Dylan

One thing one has to give Bob Dylan credit for: the way he gives credit to those who inspired him. The question is, by now, why do we still listen to him and not the geniuses who inspired this pop-idol?



4) Dire Straits

For 500 euros: tell me a member of the Dire Straits whose name does not begin with "Mark Knopfle". Yeah the piano solo on Telegraph Road is pretty cool, but who did it? Who cares? And making songs fifteen minutes long doesn't mean they're good, it just means you think long solos are better than short solos.



3) De Mannen van de Radio

Apparently something is funny about these sketches, because the guys themselves keep cracking up while doing them. Maybe they just smoked a lot of pot each time they recorded them (or during?). Anyway, whatever comic effect there might have been is lost in that sloppy delivery.



2) The Beatles

In twenty years, do you really think people will be listening to the Backstreet Boys? Then why are we listening to the Beatles now?



1) Tom Lehrer

Most of his songs are based on Gilbert & Sullivan. He doesn't seem to understand the first rule of parody: don't parody comedy, ever. Nor the second rule of parody: parody is the lowest form of wit.

I'm only typing this one so that I can see the recommended songs.
Recommended Songs (sorted by most recommended songs)

Pinball Wizard : The Who (Score = 55.16)
Walk This Way : Aerosmith (Score = 50.26)
More Than A Feeling : Boston (Score = 47.45)
Come As You Are : Nirvana (Score = 42.38)
Ebaum's World Dot Com : Lemon Demon (Score = 42.25)
Money For Nothing : Dire Straits (Score = 40.81)
Here I Go Again : Whitesnake (Score = 39.68)
We Didn't Start the Fire : Billy Joel (Score = 39.53)
Dream On : Aerosmith (Score = 38.34)
Everyone Has AIDS : DVDA (Score = 37.83)
Panama : Van Halen (Score = 37.68)
One Week : Barenaked Ladies (Score = 37.47)
Axel F (Saxophone Rendition) : Dylan Leff (Score = 36.22)
Particle Man : They Might Be Giants (Score = 35.28)
Bobonga : 光田康典 (Score = 34.71)
Poison : Alice Cooper (Score = 33.59)
Bad Moon Rising : Creedence Clearwater Revival (Score = 33.23)
Duel of the Fates : John Williams (Score = 33.14)
Hotel California : Eagles (Score = 32.27)
Deja Vu : Edd Kalehoff (Score = 31.74)
Take Me Out : Franz Ferdinand (Score = 31.7)
Piano Man : Billy Joel (Score = 31.13)
Pour Some Sugar on Me : Def Leppard (Score = 30.67)
Video Killed The Radio Star : The Buggles (Score = 30.64)
Lithium : Nirvana (Score = 30.27)
Life In The Fast Lane : Eagles (Score = 30.18)
The Final Countdown : Europe (Score = 29.97)
Purple Haze : Jimi Hendrix (Score = 29.95)
Sultans Of Swing : Dire Straits (Score = 29.84)
Tribute : Tenacious D (Score = 29.71)
What is Love? (Goth Version) : The MDP (Score = 29.66)
Axel F : Edwin Van Santen (Score = 29.4)
I'm A Gangsta : Josh Tobin (Score = 29.37)
All Star : Smash Mouth (Score = 29.24)
Radar Love : Golden Earring (Score = 29.03)
1985 : Bowling for Soup (Score = 28.99)
Ding Dong Song (You Touch My Tra-La-La) : Günther (Score = 28.87)
Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch : Darius Rucker (Score = 28.53)
Popcorn : M & H Band (Score = 28.42)
Overdose (Worst YTMND Remix) : Dasyati (Score = 28.35)
Intro to Volume Eight : ytmnd (Score = 28.35)
Katamari on the Rocks : Yu Miyake, Masayuki Tanaka (Score = 28.25)
Dr. Zaius : The Simpsons (Score = 28.01)
America Fuck Yeah : DVDA (Score = 28)
Mortal Kombat (Theme II) : The Immortals (Score = 27.97)
Muhammad Hassan : World Wrestling Entertainment (Score = 27.58)
Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) : The Offspring (Score = 27.49)
Highway Star : Deep Purple (Score = 27.49)
My Generation : The Who (Score = 27.3)
In the End : Linkin Park (Score = 27.25)
All Along The Watchtower : Jimi Hendrix (Score = 27.18)
The Elements : Tom Lehrer (Score = 27.08)
Sharp Dressed Man : ZZ Top (Score = 26.97)
Enter Sandman : Metallica (Score = 26.93)
Du Hast : Rammstein (Score = 26.86)
Breakfast Machine : Danny Elfman (Score = 26.67)
This Endris Night : Heather Dale (Score = 26.6)
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) : They Might Be Giants (Score = 26.53)
Sunshine Of Your Love : Cream (Score = 26.51)
Kurukururin : Kumano Kiyomi (Score = 26.46)
Boil 'em : EnigmaMonkey (Score = 26.35)
Superhero : Stephen Lynch (Score = 26.34)
Ass Up! (IC3M4N Remix Edit) : Baracuda (Score = 26.33)
Macarron Chacarron : El Mudo (Score = 26.27)
Somebody To Love : Jefferson Airplane (Score = 26.21)
Bring Me To Life : Evanescence (Score = 26.2)
Boulevard of Broken Dreams : Green Day (Score = 26.19)
The Land of Chocolate : The Simpsons (Score = 26.17)
Bright Eyes : Radix (Score = 26.12)
Super Mario World Title Theme : Nintendo (Score = 26)
Kryptonite : 3 Doors Down (Score = 25.94)
Bob Your Head : Coq Roq (Score = 25.83)
Mortal Kombat (Theme I) : The Immortals (Score = 25.77)
Soccer Practice : Johnny McGovern (the Gay Pimp) (Score = 25.77)
White Rabbit : Jefferson Airplane (Score = 25.66)
Kirby's Theme : Nintendo (Score = 25.64)
Evolution (Time is Pop) : 浜崎あゆみ (Score = 25.54)
Jeremy : Pearl Jam (Score = 25.33)
Back in Black : AC/DC (Score = 25.28)
The Flintstones : Theme Songs (Score = 25.2)
Only the Good Die Young : Billy Joel (Score = 25.19)
BARRACUDA : Super Preachers (Score = 25.01)
All The Small Things : blink-182 (Score = 24.86)
Lol, Bedtime : TheEvilTwin (Score = 24.85)
The Lonely Man Theme : Joe Harnell (Score = 24.85)
I Believe in a Thing Called Love : The Darkness (Score = 24.67)
Tainted Love : Soft Cell (Score = 24.66)
Alive : Pearl Jam (Score = 24.47)
My Sharona : The Knack (Score = 24.39)
Xenu, Xenu : Michael Gum (Score = 24.38)

Put your music player on shuffle....use the song titles as your answers

Story of your life...

What should they have played when you were born?:
The Decemberists – Shiny

What song will people play at your funeral?:
McFly - Home Is Where the Heart Is
somewhat appropriate.

What song will you play at your wedding?:
Natalie Imbruglia - Left Of The Middle
okay...

What song will you play at your 50'th birthday party?:
Michael Nyman - The Heart Asks for Pleasure First
What can I say? I've got good taste.

If you get your dream life...

What song will you dance to when you win the lottery?:
F.I.R. - 傳說
...How would I dance to this is what I'd like to know.

What song will you play when you get your dream job?:
The Triffids - The Long Fidelity
*raises an eyebrow*

What song will you play when you discover your own island?:
Coldplay - The Scientist
...what in the name of Merlin?

What song will you play when you rule the world?:
Beast Of Bourbon - Psycho
ROFL! Totally!

What song will you play when you're in heaven?:
Motion City Soundtrack - It Had To Be You
huh.

What song makes you feel....

Happy:
Matt Nathanson - Laid
Lol wow...

Sad:
Yann Tierson - La Valse D'Amélie (piano version)
Not quite sad, more like calm and relaxed.

Sexy:
Prototypes - Danse Sur La Merde
Yup, pretty much.

Angry:
Yann Tierson - Comptine d'Un Autre Été
As if.

Jealous:
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Clarinet Quintet
Yes, that I wasn't born earlier.

Flirty:
光良 - 你好嗎
I dunno, maybe in the sense that after a break up I'm free to flirt with hot guys?

Evil:
Pink Floyd - Coming Back to Life
Hmmm... Now that I thought about it...

Innocent:
Joy Division - Atmosphere

Beautiful:
Goldenhorse - Golden Dawn
Not sure about this, but beautiful song either way.

What song makes you feel like you're an armadillo?:
Don't worry, already am one. ;-) Dorm mascot, anyone?
Tom Lehrer - I Hold Your Hand in Mine
LMAO.

What song makes you feel like you can fly?:
Harry and the Potters - The Fourth Triwizard Champion
To quote a certain actor of Jasper Hale, "I don't know, they've got brooms!"

What song makes you cry?:
Gregory and the Hawk - Boats and Birds
True, amazingly enough.

What song makes you feel like dancing?:
Azure Ray - The Drinks We Drank Last Night
Nope.

What song makes you feel like being emo?:
Arctic Monkeys - The Bad Thing
Um, nah.

What song makes you feel like a donut?:
...Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
Monty Python - Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)
...

What song reminds you of your childhood?:
Kyo - Un sourire aux anges
A bit, but not really.

What song reminds you that life sucks?:
The Cardigans - Do You Believe
Haha, so true.

What song makes you eat compulsively?:
the modest mouse - Float On
Theoretically, since bobcats do eat mouse...

What song makes you nervous?:
Something Corporate - Ruthless
No, not at all.

What song makes you need to pee?:
what kind of question is this?
DEPAPEPE - パッヘルベルのカノン

This song describes...

Yourself:
五月天 - 志明與春嬌
*bursts out in laughter*

Your mom:
唐禹哲 - 只欠一句 我爱你
*sighs*
Fits, sort of, maybe, it's complicated...

Your dad:
Josh Bates - King of Glory
Well, in the sense that King of Glory=God=Heavenly Father...

Your best friend:
Nichole Nordeman - Legacy
Hmmm...

Your stalker:
Don't have one, but...
Jean-Baptiste Maunier - Cerf-Volant
I wish... If he is I can die happy.

Your school:
James Blackshaw - Past Has Not Passed
Judging from all the Marx and Adam Smith and such...

Your life:
Jonathan Larson - Season of Love
Perfect, simply perfect.

Your death:
Adverts - Cast Of Thousands
Lol, funny.

Your attitude towards life:
Ginny and the Heartbreakers - Volde-who?
Oh wow... Are you psychic, dear iPod of mine?

Updated 8/5/08: Changed one tag and added info about the rating system.

Okay, thanks to a recent Woot purchase, I have upgraded from my first generation iPod Shuffle to a 5.5th Generation iPod with 30 G's of space. It's not enough for my entire collection, but since I listen mostly to shuffled songs, I set up a 1 Gig playlist of random selections and filled the rest of it with my 15 Favorite Albums and the Top Artists from my Last.fm charts, along with some favorite Genre material.

Now it is precipitating my doing a couple of things that I have meant to do for a while. The first of these is a new Listening Project, called "The Great Unrated." The object here is to take all of my songs without a star rating and give them one. I've been working on it during casual listening at home (when I think to look at the recently played songs to see which were unrated), but haven't really put a dent in it. But since the regular iPod gives you the capacity to add or change a rating while listening, the opportunity was ripe.

So I made a giant playlist of Unrated songs, then stripped out Holiday (because I can rate them over Christmas) and Classical (too hard to listen to in the car) for a total of 3,000 songs that need ratings. Then I made a 1G sized playlist that pulls from that master list to save space on the iPod.

I figure this project will take me into February of next year, since during commute listening I get in about 75 - 100 songs a week. However, if I decide to plunk down for a set of iPod speakers for my office, it may go faster. We'll see.

The other project is to go through iTunes and clean up my Genre tags. You've all seen what happens to tags on music you buy. Plain ol' Rock music can be identified as "Rock",. "Rock and Roll", or "Classic Rock". I thought I could distill everything down into 20 or so major genres for a nice, clean interface on both i Tunes and Pod.

Well, I've made my initial survey of what I wanted, and it turned out to be a bit trickier than that. I ended up with twice the number of tags I projected, but I figure that's not so bad. It breaks everything down into my major areas of interest, with some sub- and sub-sub musical specialties as well.

So over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to go through and apply the following to my music files:

Acappella - Voices without music.

Acoustic - Guitars without electronics.

Advertisements - My personal archive of radio spots that I have written.

Alternative - Basically what New Wave (q.v.) became in the 1990's.

Ambient - I only have one album with this designation. Guess which one it is.

Americana - Distinctly American music, in instrumentation or lyrical subject matter. People hold up Tom Petty and Neil Young as prime examples, but Young is Canadian. Go figure. Anyway, I put Stan Ridgway and T-Bone Burnett here, among others.

Avant Garde - Off kilter stuff. Brian Eno, Bowie's Berlin period, and some guy named Dan Sonnier.

Blues - You know. The blues.

Celtic - Irish stuff or related. Also applied to Clannad and Enya so I can say I don't have any "New Age" music in my collection.

Christian - More modern religious music - Charlie Peacock,Brent Bougeois, Jars of Clay.

Classical - Stuff with big orchestras. Or big intentions.

Comedy - Woody Allen, Monty Python, Tom Lehrer. I burn out easily on comedy, so this lets me take it out of play fast.

Country - There's a tear in my beer, I fear, dear. Patsy Cline is here by default.

Disco - I will admit now that there were some Disco songs I liked in the 70's. Back then I said they were "jazz".

Easy Listening - Dean Martin, the Mills Brothers. The stuff I grew up listening to. Thanks, folks.

Electronica - A really broad category that includes anything with a synth or arpeggiated beats in it. From a3 to Wendy Carlos.

Folk - A narrow designation of Singer Songwriters who seem tied to acoustic guitars (even though David Gray also plays piano, he's more folk to me).

French - Language tag. Vocals in French.

German - Another language tag. Vocals in German. You get the idea.

Gospel - Old timey religious music, like the Blind Boys of Alabama. Southern Gospel is the happiest music in the world.

Halloween - Only one group here, Midnight Syndicate, which specializes in horror music. Technically Holiday music, I didn't want this stuff turning up over Christmas.

Hip Hop/Rap - Michael Franti/Spearhead/Disposable Heroes of Hiphopracy lives here.

Holiday - Christmas and New Year's music. Makes it easy to get to during the six weeks of the year I want it around.

Jam - Phish and the Dave Matthews Band. Odd, but I only like their live stuff.

Japanese - Yet another language tag.

Jazz - Mostly Pat Metheny, but some other stuff as well.

Jingle - Tag for my collection of Coca Cola jingles by artists from Aretha Franklin to The Who. It's great fun to have them in rotation - especially when The Moody Blues turn up.

Latin - Not so much a language tag as a style.

Lectures & Lessons - Files of some Church lessons I wanted to hang on to.

New Wave - That lovely period of music that started around 1976 and ran through most of the 80's. They started calling it Alternative in the 90's.

Outsider - Jandek, Daniel Johnston, Scott Walker. Rules were made to be broken.

Pop - The cotton candy of music, but eminently listenable.

Post Rock - Modern stuff that doesn't really fit the rock mold. Battles, Explosions in the Sky.

Power Pop - Pop music with an edge. Usually identifiable by jangly guitars, hooky arrangements and catchy lyrics.

Progressive - Rock + Jazz + Classical + Odd Time Signatures + 20 minute instrumental solos + Obscure lyrics = Prog. And I love it.

Psychedelia - That wonderfully druggy, take-itself-too-seriously music that came when garage bands discovered hallucinogens in the 1960's. And modern practitioners like Kula Shaker and The Dandy Warhols.

Punk - Because The Clash and The Sex Pistols shouldn't be classified as New Wave.

R&B - Got soul?

Rock - Traditional rock and roll music, nowadays mostly found with the word "Classic" in front of it.

Russian - Yet another language tag.

Sea Chanties - Songs of the sea. I love them. This makes them easy to find.

Singer Songwriter - Composer/performers who transcend the traditional "folk" label for a variety of reasons: Paul Simon and Brian Protheroe.

Soundtrack - Music from the movie. Or the show. Or whatever it was that they tapped David Byrne to do that week.

Source Noise - The sonic equivalent of Found Art. The Conet Project, and McGreevey's recordings of audible auroras. And the cicada recordings, when I get around to downloading them. UPDATE: I have changed this to Field Recordings since this was the term I was groping for when I came up with "Source Noise." It's better. Sure, it's better.

Spoken Word - Interviews with Woody Allen and Stan Ridgway, and the Orson Welles Frozen Peas Spot.

Swing - Harry James, Squirrel Nut Zippers, and Joe Jackson's Jumpin' Jive album.

Vaudville - A special designation for my Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band anthology. I should file them under Comedy, but I don't get tired of them like I do regular comedy, so this keeps them in play when the rest gets banned. And it fits them so well.

Generally speaking, the narrower categories take precedence over the broader ones. So my copy of Stan Ridgway's rendition of "Hanging Johnny" goes under "Sea Chanties" as opposed to "Americana". Mark Knopfler's soundtracks will be tagged "Soundtrack" as opposed to whatever it is I will end up labeling him.

You would think that this would make things easy, but it isn't. For example, The Beatles fall into three distinct categories for me, depending on the period: Pop, Psychedelia, and Rock. Depending on the album, David Bowie is Prog, Electronica, or Avant Garde - and I don't have all of his albums. And Joe Jackson is all over the map.

There are other twists and turns to this, too. Like Nash the Slash, who came out of Canadian prog band FM. He belongs there by all rights, but he gets his sound by running his violin through cheap guitar effects pedals, and the sound he gets is definitely Electronica.

And what on earth am I going to do when I get to Tom Waits?

UPDATE: A brief word on how I'm using iTunes' star system to rate the music.

5 Stars - A song of sheer genius. Iconic. One that can change your whole day when it comes up in rotation. When it comes on you say, "Hooray! There it is!" Examples: Bad News From Home, Prairie Wedding, Heroes, The Mariner's Revenge Song, Sunrise, 1952 Vincent Black Lightning, Casimir Pulaski Day.

4 Stars - A great song. Has the potential to alter your mood. When it comes up in rotation you say, "Oh yeah!" Examples: Hush, Does Everyone Stare, Something In The Air, Factory, When You're Near Me I Have Difficulty, ...And In Every Home, The Core.

3 Stars - A Good song. It's not going to make your day, but you wouldn't turn it off if it came on the radio. When it comes on you say, "Oh, okay!" Examples: Susan's House, She's Always a Woman, Rockin' The Suburbs, Should I Stay or Should I Go?, Babylon, Rose Darling, Swamp.

2 Stars - A marginal song. You might turn it off if it came on the radio. When it comes up in iTunes rotation, you listen to it because you like the artist, not the song. You say, "All right, I'll leave it on because it's Joe Jackson." Examples: Newspapers, Wrong Side Of The Moon, 19th Nervous Breakdown, Bad Day, Love To Be Loved, Walk Of Life, and most of the album Animals.

1 Star - A Bad song. When it comes on you go "Ick" and change the station or click to the next song. Someday you're going to sort your main playlist by star rating and delete them to make room for some Genesis bootlegs. Examples: What do you know, I seem to have deleted all the one-stars from the computer I'm on right now. But you know in your heart that Revolution 9 is on your hit list.

original airdate: [10 Jun 2007|08:36pm] @ audiography.livejournal.com

Like that guy says from the ultimate mopey breakup movie: Do we listen to pop music because we are miserable? Or are we miserable because we listen to pop music?

Forget music as a soundtrack - it's the whole damn movie. We take our cues, playact our parts, and walk our stages to the roles that culture and personality have molded for us. We squish our experiences into shared narratives to look at and turn over so we might attempt to understand ourselves. We become what we see, what we read and what we hear.

These songs aren't about breaking up, exactly. There are stories and characters and maybe mentions of heartbreak like most stories about most people. They aren't like me and I don't pretend to be them. But once in a while, after a bout of something or other - break ups or feigned break ups or fake break ups or however many other complications, it makes no difference that the singer is singing about some old man jackknifing across freeways and state lines trying to escape - I am him and he is me. I can take pleasure, biting and bitter, from his pain and mine. So on to the music.

In New Friend, it is the first phone call afterwards and someone else has picked up the phone. Enter measured coolness and quiet desperation. The lyrics themselves aren't much, but the music is lush and mellow. Perfect for wallowing on a rainy day with tea.

Eleanor Rigby is all about the broken lonely people. Whatever happened an age ago, she is still waiting at the window with a face kept in a jar by the door. Eleanor Rigby should be some patron saint of scorned women with too many cats. And there's also the rift between the old church with its empty pews and the lost flock to consider.

When you are left a faded shell of a person, Hummingbird is a song that commemorates the burnt out and left behind. Soft voices begin but by the second time we hear that his goal in life was to be an echo, there is something insistent and stubborn calling out.

Here's another anthem for the slighted and dumped: Tennessee Waltz sung by Connie Francis. There are many versions of this song but I think her patented sobbing singing voice gives you the full old-friend-steals-lover-at-country-dance-and-ensuing-heartbreak effect.

No one quite does defeated resignation quite like Scottish lads, but how well you can stomach it depends on whether mopey vocals and orchestral pop are your cups of tea. Listen to Don't Leave The Light On Baby by Belle and Sebastian and mope. (but they're happy chirpy twee poppy people most of the rest of the time, I promise!)

The straw oh the last straw! There is the last straw and then there is the bleached out Arizona desert of the last straw that makes you want to scream along we were done, done, done / with all the FUCK, FUCK, FUCKIN' AROUND on Modest Mouse's Black Cadillacs.

Bonus Round:

At this point, I'm pretty sure that every song from Dilate has been covered. But just in case, here is Superhero. I mean, with meta like every pop song on the radio / is suddenly speaking to me, how could I not include it?

As balm from all the overwrought theatrics, I offer The Masochism Tango from Tom Lehrer. This guy is the original Weird Al with a hearty dose of Gilbert and Sullivan, Cole Porter, and his own demented brilliance. He teaches mathematics and musical theatre for god's sake!

I've seen a lot of people do this, and I've noticed that most people suck at it and aren't vicious enough. So now I'm going to do it right.

20. Flight of the Conchords - Hey, maybe if we make a stupid genre-parody band, no one will notice if we're ironic about it. That way we can ironically point out that we're a stupid genre-parody band...and...uh oh. Pointing out that we suck is going to make people notice that we actually suck, isn't it? We'd better throw some old, generic sex jokes in there.

19. Tom Lehrer - Jesus, these are the first two artists I'm going to have a go at here? Why the fuck have I listened to both of these that many times? They're joke novelty records. You listen to them once, pretend to laugh, and move on. In Tom Lehrer's case, you pretend to laugh because his Werner von Braun jokes are hopelessly dated and no longer relevant. But they were probably funny back then, weren't they? (Answer: No, they weren't.)

18. Talking Heads - Here's my foolproof guide to making music that critics will love: take something that people have avoided doing throughout the history of music because it's a bad idea. Do it intentionally. A lot. "This song only has one chord in it," was probably something that David Byrne read in a negative review of someone else. But he knew my aforementioned rule, so he wrote entire albums that only use one chord. Then he appropriated African rhythms and sucked at singing. The other band members pretended they were actually doing something, which they weren't.

17. The Jayhawks - I'll get to Wilco in a minute, but The Jayhawks pretty much sound like a concerted effort to make music like Wilco, but to somehow make it more boring. And goddammit if they didn't succeed. Hello, the easy-listening version of alt-country.

16. Ghostface - You know, I once saw a quiz where you had to guess whether a phrase was a Ghostface rhyme or a quote from a spam e-mail. It's literally impossible unless you know the Ghostface song. Congrats, Ghostface, you figured out what rock lyricists like Bob Dylan have known for a long time: confuse critics enough so that they can't tell what you mean, and they'll declare you a genius out of fear that you might be one. Then do the equivalent with your production. Oh, and you're not a genius.

15. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - I like this music because it's "dark," right? Is that why I like it? Oh right, and the Biblical themes. Liking Nick Cave is like the second step after militant teenage atheism, where you think you're enlightened and go, "I don't hate religious people any more, and now despite my lack of religion, I think Biblical references are erudite and show cultural literacy." Which, you know, makes you forget that Nick Cave lyrics are actually crap.

14. Low - When the defining characteristic of your music is that it's slow, you're pretty much fucked out of making anything interesting from the get-go. "Slowcore"? Really, guys? Yeah, it was coined "as an accident." I bet. Here, I'll coin one on purpose: "Boringasshitcore." Or, for short, just "shitcore."

13. De La Soul - Oh, great, it's "goofy" hip-hop. Hehe, we used a Steely Dan sample! Isn't that wacky? Black guys sampling music by white guys who ripped off black guys! Haha, we're fun! If these guys shouldn't be shot for inventing the hip-hop skit (and they should), they should be shot for writing self-consciously "cute" songs like "Can U Keep a Secret" and "Potholes In My Lawn."

12. Blitzen Trapper - Pretty much what says everything about these guys is that they got universally positive reviews for Wild Mountain Nation, then got forgotten by the end of year by every single music publication. It's either a global conspiracy, or they're just completely fucking forgettable. (Hint: It's not a global conspiracy.)

11. Miles Davis - Where to even start with an artist that revolutionized jazz three times - once by making music that was more boring than any other jazz musician at the time (us aficionados, see, we call this "cool jazz"), then by letting Gil Evans do all the important work on his only decent albums, and then by inventing the worst genre in the history of music, jazz-rock fusion?

10. Brian Eno & David Byrne - Like the Talking Heads? You know what would be even better than the Talking Heads? Removing melodies completely and replacing them with obscure samples of yahoos talking! We're still keeping the one-chord progressions and the pretentious glitchy production, though. Which is, of course, what you liked about the Heads in the first place.

9. Warren Zevon - Oh, boy. If I casually sing about things like rape, murder, war, and corruption with a poppy melody, then I must be an ironic, satirical genius right? Either that or I use a poppy melody because I've only ever written one melody and it's poppy. (See: "Frank and Jesse James," "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner," and "Hit Somebody (The Hockey Song)")

8. Varsity Show - Well, this is the most masturbatory thing imaginable for me to listen to. This is like listening to your own band over and over, but your band is a silly college musical parody, and you didn't event actually write any of the songs.

7. David Bowie - If this guy is such a chameleon, why does all of his music sound basically the same, except for tiny little flourishes? Oh, you added a saxophone for "Young Americans." Yeah, that's a funk record now. Oh, now I remember why you're a chameleon, it's because you dress differently for every album cover. Yeah, man, you totally change so much every time.

6. The Replacements - You know how the band you're in is pretty crappy, and the lead singer can't sing, and you can't really play together or at any sort of a consistent tempo, but you play a song and go "yeah, if we had some professional production values, that would sound awesome"? Well great job, jerkoff, The Replacements got popular because people like you listened to them and went, "That sounds like my band! And they made a record without even having any of the production values! Maybe we can do that!" Then The Replacements made the most fatal mistake of their career: they made an album with actual production values, and everyone realized they weren't any good and probably never had been.

5. Roger Miller - Seriously, how has anyone have listened to this much Roger Miller? I'm pretty sure that "You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd" gets unfunny about ten seconds into the first time you listen to it, so how could you have listened to it upwards of five or six times? That goes for every single one of his novelty country songs, which is about 90% of his output. The rest of his songs are just country standards that other people have done better.

4. Randy Newman - We'll put aside your Disney crap for a second and focus on the older stuff that is the only reason why anyone would actually like you. And we discover this formula for a song: 1. Find a position you disagree with, 2. Sing a first-person song from that assumed position, 3. Get hailed as a satirical genius, 4. Have a disgustingly unlistenable voice (that one is less chronological than the others). Haha, "Political Science," because I GET it and you don't actually think that's what we should do!

3. Frank Zappa - While we're on the topic of satire, at least you could make a case for Randy being satirical. Zappa? You don't actually get why you're funny, do you? It's becuase you've written lyrics about poop and anal sex to extremely complicated, wanky music. Your lyrics aren't actually funny, it's just funny that they're there. We're laughing at you, not with you. Wait, what's that? You think you're a social satirist? At best, you're a provocateur. You're not attacking institutions, you're just being infantile. You're Ann Coulter of the 70s with an ugly moustache and a band of shitty prog-rock musicians.

2. Wilco - At first, Wilco seemed like it would be content to be more or less a boring cover band of Replacements songs and Uncle Tupelo songs that Tweedy had already written in the first place. (Oh, those weren't covers? Wow, I couldn't tell.) Then, Tweedy decided to not actually change any sort of song structure, but just lengthen the Replacements covers and add pretentious bleeps and bloops in the newfound space. This was hailed by hipsters as the greatest idea ever. Tweedy then decided that he didn't like his new fans and went back to being a Replacements and Tupelo cover band, this time with masturbatory guitar solos.

1. Tom Waits - Tom Waits followed in the grand tradition of many artists on this list by starting out really boring. But at least he had melodies back then, and tried as best as he could to hide the fact that he had a godawful voice. At some point in time, Waits discovered Captain Beefheart and decided on beatboxing, hitting things, and writing pirate lyrics for the rest of his life. Also, he decided to be open about his terrible voice. You know that disgusted reaction that people have when you play later Waits for them for the first time? That's the correct reaction to him. If you listen to a lot of Tom Waits, you have just figured out a way to suppress that.