Johann Pachelbel - One of the world's leading producers of elevator music. His is the music you hear every minute of every day you spend in an office or airport, even if you never hear his name a single time.
Antonio Vivaldi - New age-style ambient with Eastern influences, along the lines of Robert Rich. (He wrote The Seasons, must mean he's all about nature and shit.)
Johann Sebastian Bach - Jazz fusion guitarist. Member of a commercially successful, if fairly traditional quartet.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - A member of a prog or post-rock band, something along the lines of Tortoise or Gastr Del Sol.
Ludwig van Beethoven - Post-punk guitarist and composer. Frequently trolls the last.fm Jonas Brothers shoutbox and racks up multiple banned last.fm accounts.
Frédéric Chopin - One of the most influential hip hop producers of our generation.
Johannes Brahms - Alternative rock guitarist. Uses alternate tunings with lots of power chords and an overall grunge-influenced sound.
Richard Wagner - He'd be a metalhead, but only because he hated Jews.
Claude Debussy - Ambient producer, frequently uses treated guitar-work and grainy washes of lo-fi found sound. Keyboards occasionally.
Erik Satie - Bassist in Enya's live band.
Charles Ives - Synthesist in a krautrock-influenced experimental rock band.
Igor Stravinsky - One of those electronic producers (idm, breakcore, whatever the fuck) who uses 16/173 time signature with lots of snare rushes. Frequently samples anime, crying children, and torture porn.
Well, there you have it. You will not find my analysis lacking.

























































































































































































































