11 Nov 2011 | de

A real man can make his own damn sandwich. With that being said, if a lady were to make me a sandwich of her own volition I'd be very thankful. Sandwiches do not just spontaneously assemble themselves, it takes care and understanding (bread goes on the outside, bacon is sacred, lettuce is cool, etc), not to mention decisive reasoning and motor functions intricate enough to apply just the right ratio of peanut butter to jam; or likewise mayo to mustard. Sandwiches are a symbol: There is deliciousness in order, but without effort and will, they are unrendered comprehensions. This applies to most things, but the day the hoagie goes rogue, the club is dethroned, and the submarine gets deep six'd, is the day mankind itself will fall. Thank the women in your life for the sandwiches they make for you, or nut up and butter your own bread.



PS I am now eligible to receive a sandwich anytime. Awww yeaaa.

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