I did this for the Top 40 of the 1990s but I couldn't seem to narrow it down to 40 this time around! I tried to be even-handed in terms of spreading the songs around by year but it just seems that I listened to more (and better?) music in the last half of the decade. So without further ado, here is my list. Enjoy!
Don't phone, it's just for fun... but here are the nominees for my 'awards' for 2009. To qualify, a song or act must simply register on the personal chart. And to do that, one must hit the UK official top 40 (except in the case of albums where a lot more personal taste comes to the fore).
Anyway, here are the nominees. Winners to be announced December 14th.
The previous list was just not long enough to contain them all. So instead of expanding it, I've created a new one, for all the horrible crimes-against-music that didn't fit into part 1.
This is 100% mainstream trash; not-so-famous bands have plenty of annoying tunes too, but flaming them just isn't as much fun.
Enjoy. Or not.
I don't know James Blunt. I don't know what kind of a person he really is, but the air of douchiness surrounds him like a shimmering cocoon. And he's the vocal equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Unfortunately this song was a huge hit, I kept hearing it everywhere, and every time I heard it I had an increasing desire to punch James Blunt's face.
You know those 2 girls 1 cup reaction videos that are all over the Net? That's what my face was like when I saw & heard this shit. It's like a unicorn lifting its tail & dropping sparkly rainbow dung onto a field of gold & diamonds.
Their music sucks, their singer sounds like a neutered tomcat, and worst of all-he seems to be convinced that he's the material that wet female dreams are made of. This song has assaulted my ears countless times, in situations where escape was impossible (during bus rides, for example) and I can't even describe how much I've grown to hate it.
At one point, Tom Cruise considered devouring her brains. Unfortunately he didn't act on his impulses. Cher has a man-voice (possibly a result of all those hormones she stuffed into herself to stop the natural aging process) and looks just a tad more plastic than a lego figure. Believe is her last big hit, and it's made even more horrible than usual by her heavily autotuned man-voice and the cheesy dance beat. Yuck.
I love Madonna. I still think that Ray of Light is the best pop album ever. Her late 90's-early 00's work was mature, artistic, beautiful. Confessions on a Dance Floor was fun, hip & cool. Then something happened to her (or should I say, INSIDE HER DAMN HEAD) and Hard Candy was born. Thoroughly atrocious, with only a few tolerable tunes, most notably Miles Away. Give It 2 Me (see, she used 2 instead of To, because that's like, cool and stuff and young people do that) is nothing more than the sad attempt of an aging woman to appeal to audiences that are constantly bombarded by the onslaught of 20-something whorish starlets. Her most recent "hit", Celebration accomplished the near-impossible mission of being even shittier than Give It 2 Me. Madge needs to reinvent herself, and FAST.
I should be so lucky lucky lucky lucky on a faraway tropical island, blissfully unaware of this song's existence...
Honorable mention: The Loco-Motion & Can't Get You Out Of My Head
I don't hate this song because it comes from an overrated band composed of stupid douchebags with over-inflated egos (if I cared about the egos of musicians I may not listen to any major bands at all); I hate it because I can't stand the whining and squealing of Axl Rose, and it's overplayed to the point where I just cringe whenever I hear it. Same goes for most of their hits. 'Nuff said.
WOW. This guy is so deeply in love with himself, it's a wonder he didn't start a campaign for the legalization of self-marriage yet. He pouts more than a female supermodel and tongue-fucks various chicks in each of his videos to show what a walking, talking bomb of manliness he is. He hardly sings, most of his vocals sound like a random dude attempting to win back his woman by performing cheesy romantic karaoke under her window. I'd throw bricks at him.
2 - Fergie: Glamorous and every other fucking piece of garbage excuse for a song she ever unleashed upon the world
There are artists who annoy me. Then there are "artists" who annoy me even more. And then there's THIS steaming, epic pile of horseshit. Read these lyrics and tell me you don't feel like kicking this conceited caricature of a human female IN THE BALLS. Consumerism, greed, narcissism and careless stupidity enhanced by all the plastic surgery money can buy, but still ugly both on the inside & out. As much as I detest Perez Hilton, he was right about this one.
PS: In case you disagree with me and want to bash my charts (like that would change the fact that all these artists & songs DO suck sweet & sour donkey ding dongs), remember that this is my personal journal where I can write anything I want, and
First, make a list of your top-20 artists overall. Then, for each of these artists, add the 8 most similar artists to your list. Delete any duplicates, count up the number of entries on your list and this will give you some idea of how eclectic your listening habits are. A score of 9 represents an extremely unvaried musical taste while a 160 represents an extremely varied one.
First, make a list of your top-20 artists overall. Then, for each of these artists, add the 8 most similar artists to your list. Delete any duplicates, count up the number of entries on your list and this will give you some idea of how eclectic your listening habits are. A score of 9 represents an extremely unvaried musical taste while a 160 represents an extremely varied one.
Put your music player on shuffle
Post the first 40 songs that come up. You can repeat artists if you want. If you have any repeats, skip to the next track.
1. Which song do you prefer, #1 or #40?
#1 - It's The Killers!
2. Have you ever listened to #12 continuously on repeat?
Nope
3. What album is #26 from?
And Love Said No
4. What do you think about the artist who did #15?
Great! I love INXS
5. Is #19 one of your favorite songs?
Not really
6. Who does #38 remind you of?
Going for long walks when it's about to rain
7. Does #20 have better lyrics or music?
Hmm... tough one. I'd say lyrics...
8. Do any of your friends like #3?
A couple...
9. Is #33 from a movie soundtrack?
Not that I know of
10. Is #18 overplayed on the radio?
Unfortunately, no
11. What does #21 remind you of?
My Dad
12. Which song do you prefer, #5 or #22?
#5 - The Killers :D
13. What album is #17 from?
Transformers Soundtrack
14. When did you first hear #39?
My favourite song! On the radio a very, very long time ago
15. When did you first hear #7?
July
16. What genre is #8?
Dance
17. Do any of your friends like #14?
A few
18. What color does #4 remind you of?
again - Dad!!
19. Have you ever blasted #11 on your stereo?
Yup
20. What genre is #37?
Err... Pop?
21. Can you play #13 on any instrument?
I could try
22. What is your favorite lyric from #30?
something like: finger on the trigger loaded bullet
23. What is your favorite lyric from #23?
one man betrayed with a kiss
24. Would you recommend #24 to your friends?
Yeah
25. Is #2 a good song to dance to?
Not really
26. Do you ever hear #16 on the radio?
I might do if I listened to the radio
27. Is #32 more of a “nighttime” or “daytime” song?
Day
28. Does #36 have any special meaning to you?
Definitely...
29. Do any of your friends like #31?
I doubt they've ever heard of Bright Eyes
30. Is #25 a fast or slow song?
Both
31. Is #35 a happy or sad song?
Both
32. What is one of your favorite lyrics from #9?
I like the October bit at the end... "what do i care" or something
33. Is #34 better to listen to alone or with friends?
Alone in a dark room.
34. When did you first hear #27?
Last year
35. Name 3 other songs by the artist who did #29:
The Sharpest Lives, The End, Dead!
36. Do you know all the words to #6?
No
37. Does #28 have better lyrics or music?
Music probably
38. What album is #10 from?
No idea