I’ve been struggling with my writing a lot lately, especially now since I’ve effectively decided to delay my ’07 year-end list ‘til after this semester’s finals are all said and done. Fortunately, positive feedback regarding some of my work has slowly been trickling in these last few weeks from people I would have never thought would have any vested interest in this sort of thing, so that is encouraging in the very least. Funny how people can get bored enough on Facebook to sift through someone else’s imported notes.
Anyway, I actually had impressions and a header image made out for the month of March, but between spring break and not being very motivated to do anything school-related for the first couple of weeks back in class, I ended up playing catch-up for the rest of the month and missed out on getting it posted. Sans a couple of early standout albums, I haven’t been completely captivated by anything that’s dropped this year. Luckily, there has been a fair share of interesting and interestingly bad musical excursions that compel me to write, so I’m just going to go ahead and throw up my thoughts on last month’s round of records anyway.
Can’t wait to get back into this, f’realz.
♫ MARCH
4 March
1.
Shirley Bassey –
Get the Party Started
2.
The Black Crowes –
Warpaint
3.
Kathleen Edwards –
Asking for Flowers
4.
Alan Jackson –
Good Time
5.
Lykke Li –
Youth Novels
6.
Son Lux –
At War With Walls and Mazes
7.
Stephen Malkmus –
Real Emotional Trash
8.
Mia Doi Todd –
Gea
[Just to fill in the uninitiated: the February issue of
Maxim featured a mostly negative advance blurb review of the latest release by The Black Crowes. Someone in the Crowes camp caught it fortunately and realized that it would have been impossible for anyone to have reviewed it as they hadn’t even sent out promo or advance copies to any publication. When confronted with the issue, editors immediately wrote it off as “an educated guess preview,” subsequently retracted
that statement, and then issued a public apology.
The greatest irony here? – roughly half of anything published in
Maxim is guaranteed garbage, but
Warpaint did, indeed, suck. Give Stephen Malkmus a spin here and pass on everything else.]
11 March
9.
Fat Joe –
The Elephant in the Room
10.
Moby –
Last Night
11.
Randy Jackson –
Randy Jackson’s Music Club, Vol. 1
12.
Kaki King –
Dreaming of Revenge
13.
Snoop Dogg –
Ego Trippin’
[Don’t bother with anything here. Besides Snoop’s all-too-brief flirtation with artistic innovation on ‘Sensual Seduction’, it’s probably safe to say the guy’s most creative days are long behind him. Fat Joe, who’s usually good for at least 1 or 2 decent party tracks, drowns in a pap of its own self-imposed hip-hop mediocrity. Moby and Kaki King are both unbearably vanilla, and Randy Jackson can piss off for screwing over Kaba Modern on
America’s Best Dance Crew. Status Quo? – Trash. Go headline a circus show at Wyclef Jean’s Crazy Calypso Carnival.]
17 March
14.
Taio Cruz –
Departure
15.
Does It Offend You, Yeah? –
You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into
[Does It Offend You, Yeah? = awful. I’m just going to go ahead and utilize this space to harp on how insufferably bad
Lightspeed Champion is as well, for no discernibly related reason.]
18 March
16.
Be Your Own Pet –
Get Awkward
17.
Danity Kane –
Welcome to the Dollhouse
18.
DeVotchKa –
A Mad and Faithful Telling
19.
Flo Rida –
Mail on Sunday
20.
The Kills –
Midnight Boom
21.
Yael Naim –
Yael Naim
[Be Your Own Pet thrashes through another 40 minutes of strident, unimposing indie racket. Danity Kane turn in a surprisingly serviceable sophomore effort that benefits greatly from top-shelf production from the likes of
Danja, although some of the beats tread perilously close to a very distinct
Blackout aesthetic, borderlining outright theft. DeVotchKa’s anticipated follow-up to the super-stellar
How It Ends is, disappointingly, little more than a hollow extension of what came before it, but it still manages to be perfectly listenable. Flo Rida seemed like he was poised to garner the title of being 2008’s breakout hip-hop juggernaut, the overbearing aftertaste of platitude is all that remains after the 4 or 5 entertaining songs pass by on his debut. Yael Naim might be the new voice of Apple, but her debut betrays a considerably more exceptional feat: she’s even duller and more predictable than
Feist. Finally, The Kills illuminate the dark and desolate 2008 scene with a punchy and rousing garage rock record full of snarl, grit, and (surprisingly) a beguiling competence for seamlessly weaving in catchy pop elements – easily their best effort to date.]
24 March
22.
Blondfire –
My Someday
23.
Guillemots –
Red
[This is a weird record, and I unfortunately mean that with less of the positive connotations that might have accompanied their debut 2 years ago. Fyfe Dangerfield’s vibrant ambition is only effective when tempered by some semblance of sonic cohesion, and
Red regrettably succumbs to almost all the pitfalls that befell his earlier EPs in terms of inconsistency. Still, there are some remarkable instances of gratifying pop takeoff on a number of tunes, and is worth a cautious recommendation for people who don’t mind a little bit of cinematic bombast with their indie rock.
Blondfire’s long overdue LP was, one the whole, a run-of-the-mill disappointment. Did I really just wait 4 years to have my heart broken like this?]
25 March
24.
The B-52s –
Funplex
25.
The Counting Crows –
Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings
26.
Destroyer –
Trouble in Dreams
27.
Elephant Man –
Let’s Get Physical
28.
Gnarls Barkley –
The Odd Couple
29.
Panic at the Disco –
Pretty. Odd
30.
The Raconteurs –
Consolers of the Lonely
[*deep breath* Man, this date is positively bustling with overrated-ness.
This just in: previous reports of
Dan Bejar’s Destroyer outfit putting out yet another unspeakably dreadful record were, in accordance with minority belief, not exaggerated.
Gnarls Barkley fails to turn in anything remotely resembling the serviceable catchiness of ‘Crazy’, subsequently chalks it up to the press as wanting to not tread the same trodden trails, and secures their stature as one of the wackest, most overrated clusterfuck duos with
The Odd Couple. My brain started hemorrhaging at the realization of how hollow of a producer
Danger Mouse truly is, and that
Cee-Lo is living, empirical proof that something as infallible as soul music can be atrocious. This white boy-pandering hip-hop shit has seriously got to end.
The tricky thing about the wildly popular emo darlings Panic at the Disco is that they’re often
too easy of a target to pick on. My seething ire for the band has always been sifted through a filter of begrudging acknowledgment for at least the marketing genius behind their curiously theatrical ambitions. Now, though, the moment I’ve been waiting for has arrived, and the scorecards have been tallied up: you can’t fool the public twice with the same shitty record. I feel truly, madly, and deeply emancipated to be able to never give two shits about you fools ever again. I’ll gladly take My Chemical Romance any day.
Speaking of shitty records, have any of you guys ever heard of The Raconteurs before? They tried to pull a fast one on the press 3 weeks ago by rush-releasing their sophomore album online, so that everyone would have the equal opportunity to marvel at how weightless and faceless their super-group brand of sterile, one-take garage rock can be.
Jack White resumes his role as the scripted MVP by proxy of the fact that either nobody knows or gives a flying trip who
Brendan Benson or
The Greenhornes are. How this is even as banal as their debut and simultaneously manages to be the worse entry is beyond me.
I never thought I would say this, but Jack is worthless without Meg. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.]
♫ APRIL
1 April
31.
The Black Keys –
Attack & Release
32.
Dem Franchize Boyz –
Da Point of No Return
33.
Kylie Minogue –
X
34.
REM –
Accelerate
[Even Kylie at her dimmest is still a shining beacon of hope in the context of appalling mediocrity like this.]
8 April
35.
mel c –
This Time
36.
Clinic –
Do It!
37.
Leona Lewis –
Spirit
38.
The Long Blondes –
Couples
39.
Peter Moren –
The Last Tycoon
40.
Tapes ‘N Tapes –
Walk It Off
[Oh, Leona Lewis. How fortunate you are that today’s music listeners are so singles-oriented into their consumption, otherwise everyone would realize how asininely MOR your record really was. I have no problems with making the concession that ‘Bleeding Love’ is a beast of a catchy single, but only time will tell how much longer you can get by with riding on the coattails of your
X-Factor triumph before bitter record label moguls crush spirits in a heap of artistic ruin. Enjoy your stay in the top slot this week before Mariah comes back again to pwns you all the way back to Sunday burrito brunch in London. With the newly-widowed
Corrine Bailey Rae. At the local petrol station.
In other news, Peter Morén, the man who is 1/3 responsible for the obnoxious ‘Young Folks’, embarrasses himself with an epilepsy-inducing acoustic clunker of a solo album. I really don’t have much more to add other than I loathe
Peter Bjorn and John.]
15 April
41.
Mariah Carey –
E=MC2
42.
M83 –
Saturdays = Youth
43.
Tristan Prettyman –
Hello
44.
Supergrass –
Diamond Hoo Ha
[Even with my proclivity for easygoing pop, I was still surprised at how much I enjoyed Mariah Carey’s latest. Her usually limited range of subject matter has benefitted greatly since her quasi-reinvention into (ironically) a media sexpot, as it’s been accompanied with a newfound sense of refined cool credible and convincing enough to guide current hip-hop and R&B trends as opposed to chasing them. Perhaps more unexpectedly, Carey makes accommodations for the deployment of vocal production tricks that we would’ve never dreamed she’d succumbed to 5 years ago (things like vocoders and auto-tune) to yield some interesting loops and effects; additionally, there’s also a great deal less of her trademark vocal grandstanding on this record, where she typically opts to obliterate our fine china around the 3-minute mark of almost any of her previous songs. This shift away from technical showboating goes great lengths to contributing to her leanest and arguably most focused effort, probably ever.
Everything else here is sort of meh.]
22 April
45.
Atmosphere –
When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold
46.
Blind Melon –
For My Friends
47.
Flight of the Conchords –
Flight of the Conchords
48.
El Perro del Mar –
From the Valley to the Stars
49.
Ashlee Simpson –
Bittersweet World
50.
Tokyo Police Club –
Elephant Shell
[I’m mostly unimpressed with everything I heard here. A couple of interesting points about Ashlee Simpson’s new record, though: parts of it were produced by
Timbaland and
Chad Hugo of
The Neptunes, and I think it’s worth mentioned that Hugo really is a great deal more instrumental to the creative impetus of The Neptunes than most people will give him credit for. Timbaland ends up recycling similar guitar loops he exploited on
Shock Value last year, and it all ends up being not very good.]
29 April
51.
Lil’ Mama –
VYP: Voice of the Young People
52.
Lyfe Jennings –
Lyfe Change
53.
Madonna –
Hard Candy
54.
Mudcrutch –
Mudcrutch
55.
Portishead –
Third
56.
The Supremes –
Let the Music Play: Supreme Rarities 1960-1969
[Considering how terrible of a megastar collaboration ‘4 Minutes’ turned out to be, the remainder of
Hard Candy almost has no right whatsoever being as good as it is. Pharrell roughly splits production duties with Danja and Timbaland, and these three gentlemen actually manage to turn in some of their best, most engaging work in a long while. The entire ordeal still predictably ends up being an assortment of trend-chasing club tunes when you take into consideration all parties involved, but Madonna makes the prudent decision to ebb and flow with her collaborators’ melodies instead of fighting to make her imprint. A cautious achievement, if ever there was any.
Alternatively, Portishead absolutely
astonishes with – dare I say it? – their best album ever. I sincerely hope I’m not shooting myself in the foot for this one.]
♫ MAY
6 May
57.
Clay Aiken –
On My Way Here
58.
Gavin DeGraw –
Gavin DeGraw
59.
Missy Elliott
60.
Estelle –
Shine
61.
Ja Rule –
The Mirror
62.
Lykke Li –
Little Bit [EP]
63.
Robyn –
Robyn
64.
Keith Sweat –
Just Me
65.
Subtle –
ExitingARM
[Well, I really don’t think Missy Elliott’s album is going to be out on time for this date, so if anyone comes across official news of a delay, holla back. Estelle’s (sophomore?) album was decent on the first couple of go-throughs, but I haven’t spent enough time with it quite yet. Subtle’s latest is disappointing on the sheer basis that there’s virtually no sign of rapping on it whatsoever. It’ll be awhile before I get over having my feelings hurt and re-evaluate it more objectively. And holy mackerel! – Robyn’s eponymous international hit is finally making its way stateside. If this bitch doesn’t become a U.S. superstar, there is no God.]
13 May
66.
Death Cab for Cutie –
Narrow Stairs
67.
Dosh –
Wolves and Whistles
68.
Duffy –
Rockferry
69.
Lil’ Wayne –
Tha Carter III
[Um, ‘Lollipop’ is a Top 5 Billboard hit. WTF? That can only mean that
Tha Carter III is poised for barrels of unharnessed bad-ass-ossity. New Death Cab is predictably ZzzzzzZzZzzzZzzzZzZzZzzZzZ.]
20 May
70.
David Banner –
The Greatest Story Ever Told
71.
Bun B –
II Trill
72.
Islands –
Arm’s Way
73.
Scarlett Johansson –
Anywhere I Lay My Head
74.
Mates Of States –
Re-Arrange Us
75.
Alanis Morisette –
Flavors of Entanglement
76.
Jason Mraz –
We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things
77.
Donna Summer –
Crayons
[I’m certain I’m in the virtually imperceptible majority on this one, but I think
Arm’s Way is the most enjoyable manifestation of anything ever related to either Islands or
The Unicorns. I can see it being slighted for its greater accessibility and ease of listen, but the arrangements are a great deal more meticulous and remarkable than anything else they’ve ever done, and front-man Nick Thorburn has never been as compelling behind the mic as he is here.]
26 May
78.
Andy Burrows –
The Colour of My Dreams
[A solo endeavor courtesy of the drummer from
Razorlight, who suck. I can’t wait.]
May 27
79.
Ellen Allien –
SOOL
80.
Al Green –
Lay It Down
81.
Cyndi Lauper –
Bring Ya to the Brink
82.
Usher –
Here I Stand
[One of the greatest musical moments of 2008 occurred 3 weeks ago when a remix of ‘Love in This Club’ featuring T.I. popped up on a hip-hop blog. Up until that point, I had been seriously contemplating what the song would have sounded like if Jeezy’s more superior ATL colleague were spitting fire on the joint as opposed to him, and I had my prayers answered. This will probably be the best R&B record of the next 45 years.]
♫ JUNE
3 June
83.
Ashanti –
The Declaration
84.
Jewel –
Perfectly Clear
85.
Ladytron –
Velocifero
86.
Aimee Mann –
@#%&! Smilers
[Ladytron’s upcoming album isn’t anything terribly different from what’s already out, but it’s a solid electronic listen regardless. My excitement for everything else here is well-documented, and I’m even willing to give Ashanti a fifth chance to dazzle me.]
10 June
87.
Jakob Dylan –
Seeing Things
88.
Joan as Police Woman –
To Survive
89.
Mike Jones –
The Voice of the Streets
90.
My Morning Jacket –
Evil Urges
91.
N.E.R.D. –
Seeing Sounds
92.
Martha Wainwright –
I Know You’re Married But I’ve Got Feelings, Too
[This is a pretty stacked summer date for obvious reasons. Fuck Mike Jones, though.]
17 June
93.
Busta Rhymes –
Blessed
94.
Coldplay –
Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends
95.
Ice Cube –
Raw Footage
96.
Wolf Parade –
Kissing the Beehive
[I’m repelled by pretty much everything Spencer Krug has ever been affiliated with, and Coldplay seem poised to ruin themselves on the basis of that terrible title alone. I have my fingers crossed for both Busta and Ice – neither one of them have seen the light of a truly decent rap album in quite a few years.]
24 June
97.
The Game –
Los Angeles Times
98.
Ne-Yo –
Year of the Gentleman
99.
Nelly –
Brass Knuckles
100.
Three 6 Mafia –
Last 2 Walk
101.
The Watson Twins –
Fire Songs
102.
Weezer –
Weezer
[Anyone here ‘Party People’ by Nelly and
Fergie yet? I’m not a Fergie fan, but she goes crazy hard on that song. Yeeeeeeeah.]
23 September
103.
Dido
~ To Be Announced ~
A
104.
A Camp
105.
Paula Abdul
106.
Ambulance LTD
107.
Annie –
Don’t Stop [July 2008]
108.
Antony & The Johnsons –
The Crying Light
109.
Melissa Auf Der Maur
110.
The Avalanches
[Yaaaaaay, Annie!]
B
111.
Sophie Barker
112.
Basement Jaxx
113.
Beyonce
114.
Big Boi –
Sir Luscious Left Foot
115.
Big Kuntry –
My Turn to Eat [March 2008]
116.
Black Eyed Peas
117.
Blur
118.
The Boy Least Likely To
119.
Michelle Branch
120.
Built to Spill
121.
Laura Burhenn
122.
ButtonHead
[What really surprised me was that Sophie Barker, one of the many rotating door of vocalists of
Zero 7, even bothered updating her website to let everyone know about her sophomore album coming out sometime soon.]
C
123.
Isobel Campbell
124.
Neko Case
125.
JC Chasez –
Kate
126.
Cassie [September 2008]
127.
Leonard Cohen
128.
Bill Cosby –
State of Emergency
D
129.
Britt Daniel
130.
Dave Matthews Band
131.
Deerhunter –
Microcastle
132.
Dells
133.
Doves [2008]
134.
Dr. Dre –
Detox [June 2008]
E
135.
Eagles of Death Metal –
Heart On
136.
Eve –
Here I Am
F
137.
The Faint
138.
Final Fantasy –
Heartland
139.
Franz Ferdinand
140.
Fugees
G
141.
Garbage
142.
Girl Talk –
Wild Peace IV: Feed the Animals, Raise the Dead
143.
Goo Goo Dolls
144.
David Gray
H
145.
Emmylou Harris
146.
Imogen Heap
147.
Keri Hilson –
In a Perfect World [May 2008]
148.
Whitney Houston
I
149.
India.Arie
J
150.
Michael Jackson
151.
Jem
K
152.
Dawn Kinnard
L
153.
Jenny Lewis
154.
Lil Jon –
Crunk Rock
155.
Lil’ Kim [May 2008]
M
156.
Shirley Manson [2008]
157.
Massive Attack –
Weather Underground
158.
Mercury Rev
159.
Metric
160.
Janelle Monae –
Metropolis [September 2008]
161.
My Bloody Valentine
162.
My Chemical Romance
163.
Mya –
Liberation
N
164.
Nas –
Nigger
O
165.
Karen O
166.
OK Go
167.
OutKast –
10 the Hard Way
P
168.
The Pixies
169.
Postal Service
170.
Lisa Marie Presley
171.
George Pringle
172.
The Prodigy
173.
The Pussycat Dolls –
Double the Trouble
R
174.
Rahzel –
Greatest Knockouts: The Album, Vol. 2
175.
Kate Rogers Band –
Beauregard
176.
Rogue Traders
177.
Roxy Music
[I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who cares, but Kate Rogers has, apparently, formed a band after her likeness. Hellz yesh?]
S
178.
Raphael Saddiq
179.
Nicole Scherzinger –
Her Name is Nicole
180.
Jessica Simpson
181.
Sisqo –
The Last Dragon
182.
Rachel Stevens
183.
The Streets [April 2008]
184.
Sunday Munich
[Well, I’ve lost count after the third or fourth tanked single, but Nicole’s really got to get her shit together and develop the sense of mind to get rid of
will.i.am as fast as humanly possible if her debut record is ever going to be up to snuff for public consumption.]
T
185.
T.I. –
Paper Trail
186.
Timbaland –
Shock Value II
187.
The Ting Tings
[KING BACK! And even though it feels it’s slightly against my better judgment, I absolutely love The Ting Tings.]
V
188.
The Verve –
Urban Hymns [June 2008]
W
189.
The Walkmen
190.
Sara Watkins
191.
Rachael Yamagata
Y
192.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs