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I kinda did this wrong last time, so we're gonna try it again. . .

1. Portal - that thing on your head is cheesier than any amount of corpsepaint Immortal used to (or still does) wear.

2. Darkthrone - really? you hate new metal so much, you decided to become the second coming of Manowar? (at least you keep your clothes on)

3. Abigor - WHY DID YOU GET BACK TOGETHER JUST TO RIP OFF NEW MAYHEM NOBODY LIKES!?!?!?

4. Aidonia - ha ha, you got booed off stage at Sting for walking on and doing THE EXACT SAME SHIT YOU DID TWO YEARS AGO!

5. Rwake - okay, okay, we get it, you live in a creepy ass town, move on , please

6. Venetian Snares - i can't sit through ANY of your records all the way through. . . .stick to singles. . . .please. . .

7. Nasum - any all male band who writes songs about women's rights in this day and age is SUSPECT!!!

8. Vybz Kartel - dude. . . . . that shit you did to Deva Bratt was FUCKED UP!!!!! You're a dick.

9. Lycia - lady, what the fuck are you saying?!?!

10. Sonic Youth - whatever it is that's making you unable to do anything as good as Evol again, get off it, please


. . .okay
I think I did a little better there.

cool.

we're done.