Corrupt a Wish!

 
    • Kennoth disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 4 2011, 2h26
    Granted. There's hailstorm instead.

    I wish I could simply heat on an electrical heater like normal folks do, without my mom bitching about it.

    Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me. For the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear.

  • Granted. But only during Summer.

    I wish I was alcohol so I could evaporate inside you.

    • [Usuário excluído] disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 4 2011, 9h58
    Granted, but your inside bottle of 230-year-old Veuve Clicquot and your currently in a shipwreck at the bottom of the Baltic sea.

    I wish people would take my badger metal subgenre seriously.

    • V1nc3ntK disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 4 2011, 10h10
    Granted. Those people are Jedward.

    I wish I had x-ray vision.

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
    • [Usuário excluído] disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 4 2011, 10h13
    Granted, the first person you meet is Paul Mason.

    I wish I was a grime DJ.

  • Granted, in a pop-playing club.

    I wish the people I find interesting would start conversations with me.

  • Granted, but after talking to them, you learn that they're really not interesting

    I wish I'm as willing to study as I'm willing to spend time posting on internet forums.

    • Kennoth disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 4 2011, 21h12
    Granted, but you still fail every exam, which only makes you sad and infuriated.

    I wish I had invisibility.

    Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me. For the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear.

  • Granted, but everyone else is blind

    I wish I could foresee the future

  • Granted.


    I wish more people used their brains.

  • Granted, but only those who doesn't have much brain power

    I wish I could think of better wishes.

    • [Usuário excluído] disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 4 2011, 23h47
    Granted. An absolutely wonderful wish suddenly occurs to you, only to be followed from abyssmal harrowing depression as you realize you've already used your wish up :p

    I wish I ejaculated rainbows.

  • Granted, but no you've got this guy following you 24/7




    I wish I could rest without sleeping.

  • Granted. May you finally rest in peace....

    Oh I wish I had an Oscar Meyer Weiner...

  • Granted.

    The problem is, it is actually a man named Oscar Meyer's penis. Enjoy.

    I wish I had superhero powers.

  • Granted, Arm Fall Off Boy!

    I wish I knew how to sew.

  • Granted! But you will sew your arm to the blouse you will make. Bummer.

    I wish I didn't have so much homework

  • Granted. You now go to a terrible school and waste years of your life in an unstimulating environment that slowly wilts every dream you ever had of making something of yourself. :(

    I wish there were more businesses open late at night.

  • Granted! Your tuition check bounced and you have been humanely removed from your classes.

    Damn, you beat me to it...

    ...Granted! Your town now has a thriving nightlife and is the new hotspot for sweaty tourists, obscene hipsters, and vacationing couples locked in loveless marriages trying to reintroduce spontaneity in their life.

    I wish this thread to be bumped.

  • It will be, but with a completely boring post.

    I wish I was more interesting.

    Are you writing from the heart?
  • Granted ... freak show.

    I wish I could meet you (tpbm).

  • Granted - but I turn out to be a serial killer.

    I wish I had the ability to turn invisible.

    • V1nc3ntK disse...
    • Usuário
    • Mar 8 2011, 21h02
    Granted. you are now too small for teh Hadron Large Collider to find. Enjoy.

    I wish I had a huge gentleman's area

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
  • With a crack of thunder, a gust of warm air and a slight whiff of sulphur, your genitalia instantly expand to roughly the size of East Anglia. Dizzy from the lack of oxygen caused by being perched upon a nut-sack several miles high, you barely notice that your nether regions are still expanding. By the time you have summoned the energy to survey your pubic hair (now similar in size and density to a pre-cambrian Amazon Basin), it becomes clear that your left testicle now has its own weather system. Within minutes, the mass of your undercarriage has destabilised the orbit of the moon and colossal tsunami are eviscerating the coastal regions of the world. Untold millions are already dead, and within the hour planet earth has collapsed into the gravity well of your willy. All life on Earth has perished before the weight of your johnson. And yet your love muscles are still growing, dragging your now lifeless body with them through the aether. By the end of the first week, the entire solar system is nothing but dust in a decaying orbit of your epic scrotum. Eventually, inexorably, the milky way, and by turns the entire universe folds under the gravity of your gonads. Once everything else has succumbed to the density of your inguinal region, your balls collapse under the pressure of their own gravity and disappear into the black hole of oblivion. Congratulations, your massive cock has successfully negated all of existence.


    I wish I would stop distracting myself from the work I need to get done.

    There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.
    Aldous Huxley

    Skateboarding Ruined My Life.
    Thankfully.

    Never Argue With Idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
  • Granted - but now all you can do is work. You do not deviate from work whatsoever. Not to eat, drink, use the bathroom, sleep - etc. You literally work yourself to death.

    I wish I had omnipotent knowledge.

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