Alphabet City Soup

Sex, Drugs, and Buttered Rolls: A Brief History-in-the-Making of Alphabet City Soup

by Julian Stockdale

Some lucky people inherit many great things in their lives… money, jewelry, quilts, Type 2 Diabetes…

We New Yorkers have more than that…we inherit tradition. In my case, a fine, funny, mythical East Village tradition consisting of Comedy, Music, Burlesque houses, overheard conversations in-between waits in whorehouses, over-poured drinks, small sips, oblivion and the way it’s never been done before.

So we’re continuing it, but the way it’s never been done before…

Starting immediately, the Antagonist Movement is presenting a ground breaking East Village “Everything Goes” show we’re calling Alphabet City Soup. I’ll be hosting the spectacle with that something-all-sorts-of-amazing band Schocholautte.

I’m excited, you’re excited, even my morbidly obese cats are excited, but that’s probably because of all the Hydroxycut I’ve been giving them.

Ethan Minsker, Head Antagonist and the Yul Brenner of the East Village Performance and Art Scene, has been not only a proprietor of it but also a player in it since those lost days when GG Allin was using his own bowel movements as both decoration and brunch (delicious!), days when you could get a decent buttered roll in NYC instead of something you’re embarrassed to order because you can’t pronounce “brioche” (not all of us were fortunate to have those Muzzy language tapes) AND especially days when possessing a pair of cross-eyed nipples was something to flaunt and walk proud about, not hide.

A bad economy can bring out the best in people… Thanks to some people’s AIG-sponsored involuntary dieting methods, some people now have the figures they’ve always dreamed of and some smart people’s decisions to forego the television has more people coming out of their houses looking for excitement. Because we’re in this together, the Soup is going to give it to them…in the heart of the East Village.

Brooklyn is great but you could easily lose your friends and your soul in a sea of 22 year old bearded persons. Those things could snag anything. And they’re fire hazards.

So come out to Niagara every Monday for now and maybe every other Monday in the future for Alphabet City Soup. It’s not your average recipe for entertainment disaster.

NOTE: Because I’m going to be in Australia for the Melbourne Comedy Festival, I’ll begin my tenure as host April 13th, 2009. Come out and enjoy the shows on March 30th and April 6th before I come out and ruin the whole damned thing.